brushofmight

mongolia

2007-05-02T20:28:00.000+08:00

okay here's a quick post before I go off for my trip ^^

I felt kind of weird today, with mixed feelings. I hate today, cause I had 4 tests and it's all because of this trip that pushed all my tests forward. I think I did quite okay for lit, but I think i flunked my chem and math. Aiyah, dunno lah... don't care. At least I didn't take chinese test today because of some np briefing. Hope a miracle happens.

Gah... I'm gonna miss spidey 3, man utd matches and all the other stuff... esp. family and friends. Woohoo, had my fav braised chicken and I think this will be the last time I eat vegetables before I go off for my trip.. ^^

okay okay, gotta rush off le, if not i'll miss my flight. Take care people! I'm off to Mongolia! ^^

brushofmight

strong again

2007-04-29T19:06:00.000+08:00

I'm healing...

Don't worry, I'll be alright people... I guess life has to go on... even though Grandma's not with me anymore. I believed she has gone to a better place... and may she rest in peace. All that's left are memories, of a great Grandma. Yep, I'll be strong for Grandma...

Okay jasper, business is as usual! I can't stay in this sad state for long, I must move on... so I think I'll get myself busy with things again (:

Oh yeah, and rest assured I'll be back in full force tomorrow for CSM. Hwa Chong!!! Rawr!! heh ^^

brushofmight

post funeral

2007-04-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

It still hurts

I found myself crying every now and then, every night I went for her wake. It's still difficult to accept the fact that Grandma's gone, and I really, really miss her a lot. Absence does really makes the heart grow fonder, but the difference is she will never be back, beside me ever again.

The night before yesterday's was another night that I spent with Grandma. This time though, it was beside her coffin, and not her hospital bed. And it was the last night that she's gonna be in that coffin. She will turn into ashes on the next day and become precious memories that will stay with me forever. She looked so serene and when you look at her from one angle, it was as though she's smiling at me, telling me not to be so distraught over her death. But I can't help myself. Everytime when I stood beside her coffin and look at her, I found tears rolling down my cheeks, even though I kept telling myself not to cry over her dead body. Coming to terms with her death wasn't easy, and the wounds will take quite some time to heal. Most of the third generation stayed beside her throughout night, and we talked about Grandma. Fond memories were shared and we supported one another. I realised I've become stony after Grandma died. Would just think about her and stare into blank space, not aware of what's going on around me. And I feel her presence in me, in my heart and soul.

We sent her off yesterday, and I cried my entire heart out. The grief's too much for me to handle. Tears flowed like the river... endless and full of sorrow. It grips my heart and wouldn't let go. Heartwrenching. Everyone cried and even a person made of steel would have cried too. And coincidentally, it rained that afternoon, and the raindrops fell, like the sky's crying for her too. She was cremated at the crematorium along mandai, and I realised how quiet and how sorrowful that place was. A place where people are cremated every single day. Imagine the amount of tears shed at that place. It's a place of eternal sorrow, a place everybody don't wanna be. I saw my dad cry as I was crying and I felt the pain of a son, sending his mum off. I feel his pain, and all the emotions in him. I'm sure I'll feel the same way too, and that is why I swore to myself that day that I'll never disappoint my parents ever again. I saw the door close as coffin went into the erm... furnace I presume? Don't really wanna know how it is done. Anyway I cried till the very end. And that night, I cried myself to sleep...

And the lights go out

It's always the case that one generation dies, a new generation carries on. And I realised that I represent hope. Hope, to bring pride to the family. Hope, to carry on the hopes and wishes of the previous generation. Therefore, I must be strong, for her, for my parents and for everybody else who cares about me.

Thank you to all who cared about me and helped me through these difficult times. Thank you Council mentors, teachers, HSC, NP Squadmates, friends and all others who supported me and gave me strength. I really appreciate it. And through this I realised the true meaning of relationships and bonding. I finally I understood the meaning of family, the ties that bind. I will be there for my parents, my family and everyone else. That's for sure. I will let my wounds heal and I will be strong again, in no time.

Rest in peace, Grandma.

brushofmight

death in the family

2007-04-25T05:55:00.000+08:00

I called out for her... in the darkness...
I believed that somehow, she can hear me, feel me...
But there was no response...
Everything's just so empty... and I felt myself falling into nothingness...

The pain, and the anguish felt by everyone in the family. She seemed so lively then, up and about, her usual self. Everytime I visited her, she will always be there to welcome me. Though due to her damaged memory for the stroke two years ago, she can't really remember me, nor others in the family. Not that it really mattered anyway. It is heartening to see a loved one so happy, brimming with joy every day and it almost as if nothing bad could really happen again. And then it came.

Hospital, massive stroke again. Everyone was grim, and filled with sorrow. And it pains my heart to see her back on the hosiptal bed once more, fighting for her life. This time it was worse. Her mouth was slanted to one side and her left arm was paralysed. What did she do to deserve this? But I kept my hope and remained optimistic, because I knew that she was a fighter, a great one. She survived and pull through one such ordeal; she will be able to make it through. She seemed so peaceful on the bed, as if she's just having a long, undisturbed sleep. And even though her responses were limited I remembered the first time I visited her and talk softly to her, she could hear me. There was a drop of tear on her right eye and I was overwhelmed with emotions. The bad news came a day later, she had lost consciousness and there wasn't any response from her. That night, I just cried my heart out. It hurts right in my heart, to know that I'm gonna lose a loved one soon. Regrets, anguish, sorrow. I hated myself, for not spending enough time with her, kept saying that "I'm busy". But really, am I really that busy such that I'm not able to spend some time with her? And I shld have put in more effort to learn to communicate with her...

It's all just too late. I can tell that her days are numbered. She's just lying on the bed, fast asleep, perhaps dreaming? I was deluded to a certain extent that I believed she's in Dreamland and that she will wake up some day. She will sit up on the bed and say in Cantonese to me "Jasper! Go drink your soup!" Optimistic me. But fantasies aren't realities, all part of my foolishness to hope that she'll regain consciousness and get better. But the truth is, she's sort of brain dead. All the movements she make are just reflexes, caused by random nerve impulses. The following night after the news, I spent the night with her. Was in no mood to go home. I spent that long night with her... by her side. I never slept much that night as the hospital clock ticked away. I looked at her and stroke her silvery hair. She looked so beautiful, so serene, so calm... as she sleeps...

She never woke up and passed away on Monday morning. The signs were there. Mum and Dad didn't tell me for they were afraid of affecting my Chi test later that day, but I got that weird, uneasy feeling in me, and I knew something wasn't right. When I knew of it in the afternoon, the darkened skies opened up and it rained. The raindrops fall like my tears, and I mourned the loss of her, always loving and caring for others. Selfless and unconditional love. She led a pitiful and hard life and when I see her again, she was lying there, without all the tubes attached to her hands and legs, finally relieved of all the pain. I have utmost respect for her, always the joy of family. And now... she's gone...

I miss you Grandma...

Where did I go wrong I lost Grandma,
Somewhere along in the nothingness.
And I had stayed up with her all night,
Wished I known how to save her life...

random test

2007-04-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

Did some random research profile:

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

[At this particular time, you are feeling that you are or were unjustly and undeservedly treated and/or betrayed in your hopes and dreams. You feel that everything is against you. But look on the bright side for you are, whether you believe it or not, a survivor.

Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.

You are a dreamer and you seek perfection in any relationship that you may establish. Some of your ideas and standards are over the top so it may be a good idea to review your perception of life and accept people for what they are - not for what you would like them to be.

Nobody seems to understand you at this moment for everything you suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. The situation naturally is not as you would like it to be - you feel that you are being treated most unfairly and that trust, affection and understanding are being withheld from you and that you are being treated with a demeaning lack of consideration. You consider yourself being denied the appreciation essential to your well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing you can do about it. You feel that whatever you try to do to change the situation, you are getting nowhere fast. You would really like to get away from it all but can't find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

You seem to be always on the defensive and that is because you have failed to establish yourself in a manner consistent with your own high opinion of yourself. You are trying to prove yourself with inadequate resources and this has resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to escape from these excessive demands on your reserves by adopting a defensive attitude in which you refuse to be committed or to be involved in further unpleasantness. ]

Some parts have some truth in it. Go figure.

brushofmight

emptiness

2007-04-08T00:00:00.001+08:00

hello. it's me.

Been wondering why do I feel so empty these few days. Not feeling down or anything but just feeling... nothing. Maybe I'm lost, maybe I need a new direction. SSSD again, same shit different day, and every single day of my life is all about work, work and more work. I'm just so sick of everything till I'm kind of emotionless and unfeeling towards everything that's happening. Maybe that's the reason why I'm feeling so empty too. Every day's the same cycle, the same old things that we face. Everything is getting boring, and I need some new inspiration, something to look forward too, like a light at the end of the tunnel as people always say. And more importantly for me, something to hope for, and of course to fight for. It's strangely unnatural for me to be in such an emotionless state. I am, without doubt, confused.

The previous posting talked about essence and existence. I still stand by my point that essence comes before existence, but I would really wanna know what is this purpose of mine, to justify my own existence. Will I ever know the answer?

I shall find myself a new direction, no matter what.

brushofmight

A heart turned stony, devoid of emotions. Crumbling into bits and pieces.

Existentialism

2007-04-05T22:29:00.000+08:00

Song: Wherever you will go - The Calling

Okay so April Fools' Day blew over like any other normal day and it wasn't much of a joke. Nothing funny in particular. Hmm... maybe my life's a joke, hur hur. Then as usual normal lessons on the school days: the expected homework decadence in Eng, Physics' still full of rubbish, heh but I think the subject for the week is.... *drumrolls...* Chem! At least for me ^^ concepts plus funny blabberings every lesson, always that brain-engaging and at the same time hilarious. Kudos to ms letchmi!! (:

Yesterday was kind of tiring. HSC (mainly iSpark peeps) went down to shift goalposts and cones for the Sec 3 soccer tourney. Refereed soccer matches at field. Haiz... if not for jc's promise we wouldn't be doing this. Moral of the story? Don't make promises too fast. But I guess I don't really mind cause we're in this together! (okay not the song but you get the idea (x ) Students benefit from this initiative too so we should all put in our best effort for this yeah. In the end we still can achieve some sort of returns. However I feel that the students should be more appreciative towards this tourney. It's not easy, esp for jc, and we put in a lot just to make this happen, yet some of them complained this and that. Incredulous really. Childish mindsets still don't see what we actually go through just to get this done for them. How ironic. But I guess this sort of thing do happen. Just have to continue what we're doing and one day they will open their eyes. The show must go on... okay this goes out to all SYF peeps, esp. alvin and boey, jiayou! ^^

Had quiz comp, which was pretty slacky, then went with kanzy to national library for HRP. Gah, the photocopying of materials is a nightmare, but at least I got what I wanted. Climate change and sustainable development. Blah, doing my lit review just puts me off...

Anyway, had a random converstation with kanzy and jang ytd, which led to the idea of existentialism. Jang was talking about Nietzsche questioning whether Existence precedes Essence or is it the other way round. In other words, do we come to Earth with already an innate purpose to fulfill? We already have a purpose and therefore we exist? Or do we exist to find a purpose of life? Which comes first, existence or purpose? Food for thought. I believe in Essence preceding over Existence. I have a purpose, therefore I exist. I do not have to prove my existence for it is already proven through this purpose I carry with me. The notion that I exist means that the purpose is already in existence in me. There is a purpose but what it is I do not know. Not many youths will know it anyway. Only at the end of my life will I understand what is this purpose I'm given and I believe the Essence is defined by a Higher-Being. You don't exist for a purpose but you have a purpose to exist. Okay this is getting confusing... and I'm tired... can't think much anyways, shall continue some other time then... oh yeah before I forget, happy bdae jy! First-class genius, haha (:

brushofmight

"I swear that I will not disappoint, ever again..."

sexyback

2007-03-31T21:09:00.000+08:00

Song: You and Me - Lifehouse

i'm bringing sexyback.. yep... woohoo peeps, guess who's back, again ^^

heh, somehow i'm motivated to blog again. Been thinking about going back to the blogging sphere again this particular week, so yeah there you have it, sexy's back (: I figured that there's a need for me to pen my thoughts and be reflective, cause there were many things i wanted to blog about, to pour out my emotions and make my points. I just didn't make it a point to type this in this white space on blogger, lazy me. But now I am in dire need of blogging, to express my feelings. Essentially, to make myself heard and iron out my thoughts. So ta-dah, it's me. Resurrection. o.o

Many events happened during my absence, like Model Asean Sabbatical, birthday, Hwa Chong's losing to UWC in Arena Finals, sackings in ExCo, funny stuff in class... blah blah blah... boy, ain't it so happening...

Anyway I was just looking back all the previous posts I'm made, and realised how emo they were. I was thinking: did I really type those? I'm quite amazed by it, seriously. Heh, but now no more emoing for me, I guess. Emo is for people who have low self-esteem, for emo often translates into negative actions. Slashing wrists, extreme mood swings etc. Yeah, these sort of people need our help but what can we really do if they don't help themselves? If they don't pick themselves up from setbacks, they never will. And since when emo= hip? Oh plaze, people are just emulating others, thinking that it's cool to be emo. Listening to emo songs, getting emotional with every single thing in their life and thinking that the world's against them, hence thinking that their existence is threatened. What utter rubbish. Emo songs? They are just a bunch of songs with crazy dudes screaming and jamming keys in them. Some people just prefer them, that's all, practising their freedom of choice. But they're cool? Never. I definitely prefer elmo over emo for one. And where's the originality? I'd rather be a trend-setter than a follower. Originators, never imitators ^^ (lol, note the irony)

Get real people. Face your life with confidence. You don't have get ridiculously sensitive over the many downs of your life and hate the world for it. Open your eyes. O.O yep, just like that.

I prefer to be more naturally in touch with my feelings, cause emo is so fake. It's my life y'all. I'm already holding some form of power with my life, certainly a force to be reckoned. Even though it's now SSDD - Same Shit Different Day - and every week brings a new shit load of work to do, I still have to face it. And I'm optimistic about my life, oh yeah. Quiz Comp, Council, hw, tests, NP admin work, UGBC, training, blazers... that's my life. This is the road I choose, and I'll see it to the end.

lalala... I say... Feel your breeze... Never stop walking now... ^^

brushofmight

-"I could tell you a man not so tall... Who said life's a circus and so we are small..."

can't hold on any longer

2007-02-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

call my name and save me from the dark

It's been a hell lot of pain, anguish and sorrow since the last time I updated my blog properly. All I wanna say now is that I'm sick and tired of everything, and I mean it. Once in a while, I asked myself whether I'm the right path, and whether I have made the right choice. Everytime I do that, however, I always fail to answer this question that I put forth to myself. I'm a self-reflective guy and can't stop this self-interrogation from every now and then. Does every question need an adequate answer? I don't know, I'm not in a mood now to provide some philosophical answer. However, this time as I ask myself this, for the very first time in my life, I actually have concrete doubts about this. Normally, I would assure myself that I've actually made the right decision and that I'll prevail with all the determination and strong will I'll find in my inner-self. A sense of security and motivation perhaps? Now, I can't bring myself to this, to continue to be strong. What's left in me is emptiness, of broken dreams and memories. Grade on a curve, tons of stuff to do, so little time. Enough said, cause it pains me right through the heart. Mistakes here and there and every now and then. I can never seem to get things fixed and right, nor be able to clean and tidy up this terrible mess I'm in. Thought I found a new strength of hope for me to continue to carry on, but it didn't work out. Nobody else's at fault; it's all mine ironically. So much for tragic heroes, or am I just deluded into believing that I'm a tragic hero?

Perhaps, I am deluded and disillusioned, forgeting the world. Perhaps, I was lying to myself all along, all this while during this period silence in my space. And it's hurting so much because it's been bottled up for very long with my absence. Not because I choose too but because time limits again, as always. Not an excuse, but the truth. Been doing a lot of thinking, but the more I think, the more I feel the pain. Do I just drown in my sorrows, or do get up and move on? And if I move, will I be able to stand up strong once again and make the correct choices? If I had the chance to turn back the clock and given the power to change, I would. This doesn't happen unfortunately. I'm just standing in the middle of the crossroads, watching the world go by, powerless to change this terrible mess I'm in. Perhaps, that's what you mean by an emotional wreck. Perhaps, I'm confused about my feelings and direction. Perhaps, I have been too idealistic and believed in myself too much. Now, I doubt my capabilities. Lack of self-confidence? I think not. I'm brought back to Earth. Now tell me, what now do I believe in?

Do you feel my pain then? The feeling of whatever you've done just comes to naught? And it always seems that things will just crop up on me for no apparent. That feeling of questioning yourself every single day, trying to instil some self-belief despite the mess that you've placed yourself in. All I see now are just broken pieces of me, trying to be whole again. Will I be? Will I be strong enough to carry on? The strength I'll need to find...

I need a miracle. Save me.

I walk a lonely road, the only one that i've ever known
Don't know where it goes, but it summons me I walk alone...

loneliness

2007-02-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

I breathe this dusty air of mine once again
Bringing long-lost memories back to mind
But it's just the foolishness and the pain
For all that's left are broken pieces of time

Hanging by a thread, clinging on desperately
Was it something I did? I don't know how, or why
The end is near, created by my own hands ironically
Do you feel the pain? Can you hear me cry?

The shouts, the screams, the cries
Turn into soft echos of the dark night
Nobody's there, nobody cares
Slipping slowly into oblivion, out of sight

sans eyes, sans teeth, sans taste, sans everything...

till you came along...

one liner

2007-01-30T21:03:00.000+08:00

"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures."

- Henry Ward Beecher

brushofmight

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders...

the other side

2007-01-27T21:41:00.000+08:00

a few clicks and some typing, and I'm back here in this little space of mine, doing some overdue updating. Hmm... no serious blogging since the start of the year, i think this space's pretty much stagnant. Or so people would think. Well, on the superficial level, it's obvious that I have not update much, but deep down, I'm still alive and kicking, though this space seems to be getting smaller and smaller as the days go by, just as my pupils are getting smaller and my eyelids slowly closing and I wonder if there's strength left in me. For everything has been a blur, a combination of both speed as well as sight. Everything's going too fast too furious, and on my part I seem to be losing sight of the end of the road.

I have been thinking a lot this few weeks, but just do not have the time to convert them into words and blog about it. Been thinking of my existence in the world, the events happening and trying to comprehend what's going on in my life and figuring out my next course of action. Or as jon put it in his blog posts, purpose. He questioned himself too about his purpose. And now I shall question mine.

When I look at my planner and calendar, it's no doubt that I have lots of stuff to do. Everybody has a lot of stuff to do, it's a undeniable fact of being in sec 4. But when I look at them, i crumble. I think i'm getting tired, tired of lots of stuff. I question the path I've chosen for sec 4 and I do not regret it. But in the end, will anything be compromised? Am i doing too much? These things run through my mind everyday and I worry a lot about them. But there's no use looking back, cause all of these has been set. I always have to worry each day when my next dosage of strength is going to come. I've already found my purpose quite a while back: being in the s**t of everything, regardless of np, council, projects, whatever. I'm turning into a no-lifer, if I am to constantly be expected to perform up to a substantial standard. Task-oriented, sounds familar? gah, I hate every bit of this. Don't get me wrong, I love my school-life, just that I hate this transformation: it's not my usual me. My purpose will always be council and npcc, more of council because once a hwachong councillor, always a councillor, but unfortunately I have not found the perfect balance. I'm just overloaded. See that red-light flashing? yes, it indicates overloading. And it doesn't help if people around you do not understand you and how exactly you feel, expecting the best from you every now and then. I've tried to reduce but they always seem to find their way to me. At times I find myself in dilemmas and I get torn apart from all the blastings. So much for dry-cleaning service. I'm worn out, as thin as paper. How long more I can last I dunno. But i sense a breakdown in the future. It's gonna hurt real bad.

I relook at my purpose and my workload. It's out of sorts and proportion. I can't perform opitmally... zzz... I'm just human.

wth, to hell with everything, no time to waste

brushofmight

I'm just a man, not a hero...

confused

2007-01-21T18:46:00.000+08:00

if only things were that simple... and i think to myself... all day all night long...

brushofmight

my mind's a whirl
i'm not even sure of myself

why do i always make things so complicated...

whirlwind

2007-01-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

Song: A thousand days - Clay Aiken

sry peeps for not updating, was quite busy with sch work.

Sucky week, i've been sleeping at 1 plus practically everyday for the whole week and am I experiencing the side effects of it. Was super drowsy and giddy when i got up in the morning,. Gah, except for a few precious and happy moments in the week, this week's really screwy for me. And wow, it's only the scond week for sch. Everything's coming in fast and furious... invest, hw, tests... sec 4 is down right shitty... but i think i'm glad that there are some things that never fail to cheer me up along the way and I'm truly grateful of that..

invest's coming on wed! woohoo! really hope that everything will go on smoothly. Really worried about the programmes especially and there's still a lot to do despite so much piaing and hard work ytd. Yep, i'm really looking forward to getting invested. But i think invest just marks the start of a new beginning for the team and what i really do care about is the year itself, on how well we are gonna perform and whether we can reach the high standards set by our seniors. I'm really appreciate the chance that the seniors as well as the council mentors gave to me to be in this awesome team that will lead the sch, I really am. And I'm not gonna let anyone down, trust me. I'm sure we can do it guys! Jiayou! hci invest will rock! xD

Geez, my arms hurt like crazy, i'm tired physically and mentally and my week blew right past me. I think i slept through the entire week, and i'm not really focusing a lot on lessons. Sheesh, and there's a lot of things coming my way, wonder how i'm gonna make it. I'll just take things as they come then.

Lots of ups and downs this week. Been doing a lot of thinking here and there, and I nearly made a decision today which I'll regret forever. I'm relieved that I' ve made the correct choice and I promise to myself that I'll be committed to it. Got a mental breakdown, and it's even worse when i lacked sleep. But i'm glad i'm alright now, and i guess i have to continue from where I fell; it's no use thinking about things and getting depressed and worried over them. The ups pulled me through i guess. Yep, so i shall go off now... till next time then! xD

brushofmight

Through my eyes,
I have seen the world start spinning like a ball.
Stars light up and then fall for you.
So then what's a man like me supposed to do?
If I gave you the moon would you notice,
That I'm right beside you?

Random

2007-01-04T18:19:00.000+08:00

Song: You'll be in my Heart - Phil Collins

Hehex, quiz time! someone tagged me to do, so I shall obliged xD

Have fun!

Instructions: Name 20 ppl you can think of at the top of your head.Don't read the questions below before you write and tag 5 ppl to do the survey.

1. Jonneo
2. Tai Soon
3. Marcus
4. Jia Chen
5. Terence
6. Liang Jie
7. Jang
8. Geneve
9. Jia Min
10. Eehui
11. Jinyao
12. Jiawei
13. Grace
14. Alicia
15. Jason Boey
16. Alvin
17. Kanzy
18. Xiner
19. Dora
20. Eldwin

1. How did you meet 14?
Alicia - utp! Bridge! ^^

2. What do you do if you never met 1?
Jonneo - sheesh, i probably wouldn't have a gd friend to lame with, aha. xD

3. What do you do if 9 and 20 dated?
Jia Min & Eldwin - I don't know... they don't even know each other... and more likely then not, Eldwin's gonna get whammed

4. Did you ever like 19?
=.= dora? no way, eldwin will kill me :O hehex

Would 6 and 1 make a good couple?
omg, lydia will be heartbroken, nah... they're are straight. One's attached, the other's goofing around, so won't happen, haha...

6. Describe 3.
Marcus- Some guy with hair super screwed-up who claims to be extremely hot. (ahem, girls, you can judge for yourself if you see him. no comments, heh) Goes around emoing and calling random people to go out for outings at random times. Like Mickey and Minnie for dunno what reason and comes up with weird and illogical theories. hmm... strange, he's becoming more prone to use the ah lian lingo in recent times, wonder why... hehex

7. Do you think 8 is attractive?
Geneve- =.= of all people, why her for this question? zzz... And how do you define "attractive"? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and since it's not defined, I won't comment =D

8. Say somthing about 7.
Jang - okay, something then xP. nah, a cool dude who's wacky. I think he has everything that a girl wants, hehe... it's not easy though haha

9. Do you know any of 12's family members?
Jiawei - Nope, but i think he has a sister. Not sure...

10. Whats 18's favourite colour?
Xiner - er... pink? I don't know, don't think she has one...

11. What would you do if 11 confesses he/she likes you?
Jinyao - ~.^ i'm straight, that's it. But I don't mind if he says that I'm a genius, haha

12. What language does 15 speak?
Jason Boey - heh, quite easy. ProEdian language!. Duo link can...

13. Who is 9 going out with?
Jia Min - errr... I dunno, someone? *shrugs* no comments then.

14. How old is 16 now?
Alvin - the fat nub? 15, aha...

15. When was the last time you talked to 13?
Grace - 31st Dec, when we visited Alicia

16. Who is 2's favourite band/singer?
Tai soon - -.- wang lee hom? Lots i think...

17. Would you date 4?
Jia Chen - ahaha... laughing my head off. Nope, i'll say again: I'm straight. Hey wait, i'm suppose to say "again"... zzz, nvm

18. Would you date 14?
Alicia - zzz... sry but it's a "no". No comments. =P

19. Is 15 single?
Jason Boey - yep, single and untaken. who wants??

20. Whats 10's last name?
Eehui - err... hui? haha

21. Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 17?
Kanzy - OMG NO, wth. I'll say the last time: I'm straight. End of story. He's already got his fat nub to gay with, haha...

22. What school does 3 go to?
Marcus - hci, duh

5 ppl to do this:
tai soon
linky
alan
jason boey
alicia

oh yeah... back to work ^^

brushofmight

Come stop your crying, it will be all right
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from all around you
I will be here, don't you cry

For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
This bond between us can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry

You'll be in my heart

brand new year

2007-01-02T21:56:00.000+08:00

Song: For You I Will - Teddy Geiger

hello world xP i'm back again

happy new year peeps!

woot, just realised that this is my 50th post, yayness! (yeah i know, i don't blog much so dun blame me, if not i shall lame you =.= okay fine, not funny) Heh, at least my blog survived for quite long okayy, by my standards. If not my little space in this little world will cease to exist anymore. One year on... and I looked back at what have I done for the year. Not a bad year for me. I must say i've grown a lot in the past year and now i'm leaving it with no regrets as i step into a new one. I've grown stronger, both physically as well as mentally. Though i cursed myself sometimes for doing things that i didn't wish to do and not doing things that i've supposed to do, i'm proud that i have come thus far, and i'll go on, no matter how difficult the future may be. I do not know what the future beholds for me, nor do i fear what's ahead of me, but one thing's for sure, that i'm more determined than ever to create my own destiny for it is in my hands. This is one great year i'm looking forward to, and even though part of me does not wish to go back to school where the madness will start all over again, part of me is game on for more challenges that will come my way. It's inevitable, but man's gotta do what he has gotta do ^^ (bleargh, so corny, but never mind, it brings across the point)

Sch starts tomorrow, consortium day. Quite slack actually, but I realised I've got a lot of things waiting for me to do. Zzz... it's time to pia again, as usual. Must make sure i get off to a good start, if not everything will go down hill. Murphy's law: what can go wrong will go wrong. Sheesh, the domino effect. Nah, everything's gonna be alright... be strong believe...

The year has started new beginnings. New classroom, new environment (air-con xD), long pants ^^, new teachers (well, some are new though) etc. and most impt of all, new me! It's jasper rocking the world in 2007, my time has come. I'll survive, and live on. Heh, but there are some old stuff that remained like my good old pals. And to no surprise, I got maumu back as ft, alongside with other familiar teachers. Only eng and physics changed. It's good in a certain sense cause we'll know the requirements and the expectations so no worries. Darn, i'll just worried at my physcis. No more tankk to rumble, boohoo. sobs, nvm, i'll just hope that everything will be fine.

It's brand new start, all the best everyone, hope to see everyone fine at the end of the road!
Oh yes, if anyone needs a helping hand, i'll gladly lend it... xD

brushofmight

let's do this together!

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have,
For you i will...

New Year's Eve

2006-12-31T18:24:00.000+08:00

Song: Heal the World - Michael Jackson

hello world! xD

Was super busy during SOO which unfortunately was right after Christmas so I couldn't blog much but nonetheless I shall blog it now.

26th: went to hospital to visit alicia with marcus, tai soon and geneve. There's a leg operation she had to undergo on the 27th so checked in one day early. Found out she was in a children's ward o.0 yep, you will be thinking: she's still a child? Don't ask me why, ask her or the hospital. But anyways going to the children's ward was pretty interesting cause there's more life in it with children running around and there's always a buzz of activity, not like any other wards which will cause you to stone right through the entire day and you get phased out. However, it was also quite heart-wrenching. Dunno whether the others at the hospital noticed or not but there was this bed-ridden child lying "lifeless" opposite alicia. It's very sad, cause there were tubes sticking out of her nostrils and checks but the most freaky part was that her eyes were just staring into blank space, totally motionless like she's dead or something. Beside her there was a radio playing some random chinese song and nobody came to visit her or anything, unlike alicia who had us. My heart aches, cause it's saddening to know that someone so young like her has to spend her childhood on the hospital, unlike most normal children and on seeing such children suffer since they were young, i think it's something that we have to think about and ask ourselves: what did they do to deserve this? what can we do?

Perhaps this world isn't fair at all, and it is very unfortunate that some children have to undergo this plight of theirs, and some were born normal and grew up normal. We do not take for granted for what we are given and have, nor do we stand by the roadside and watch those less fortunate suffer, or even worse, mock and marginalise them, leaving them to fend for themselves.

This reminds me of my attitude during utp. I guess I was extremely ignorant and indifferent towards the project itself, for I question the true rationale behind the entire project. Is it really to help the needy and low-income families, or is it just a feeble attempt to beef up their own corporate image? To put it simply: executing corporate social responsibility that comes from the heart or just play-acting. I don't know and I don't want to know, cause there's no answers to it. Seeing pam and others kept reminding us to behave ourselves and to ask for their presence when a person from the media interview us irks me, for it shows about their high-level of corporate image consciousness. Geez, it's such a sensitive issue at hand. But i think in the end it's still the result that mattered, not the process of whether it's for CSR or not. I believe to a large extent that with true spirit of giving, the love spread will be more genuine. The main purpose isn't much important so long as the needy benefit from the project. At the end of the day, these families still receive what they need and i guess they will appreciate what everyone involved has done. And that is why I will come back next year, to lend a helping hand. Isn't this what christmas is all about? Spread the joy and the spirit of giving. Unfortunately many a times we see facades and false fronts being displayed. People mask themselves, and hide behind that protective cover. It's so unfeeling and so... cold. Emotions can be better displayed without such masks.

It's time for everyone to lay their armor down, and be true to others, and more crucially, to thyself. Purity at its best. It will be a better world, trust me.

In this world that we live in, it seriously needs more love. Global problems like human rights violation, war etc. are still rampant and ongoing. It pains me. I gonna do something to save it when I grow up, I swear, no matter how big or small an impact it may be to cure this sickness.

Let everyone in the world be loved and let us hope for a better tomorrow. May the new year be a better one. xD. Joy to the world!

Happy New Year's Eve!

brushofmight

heal the world, make it a better place

the end

2006-12-30T09:39:00.000+08:00

woohoo... i'm feel exuberant today, jumping around and feeling wonderful... dunno why... people say that human emotions are the hardest thing to understand in this world and I couldn't agree more to it. Really, this sudden feeling has left me totally clueless. Hope someone or something budges in and spoil my day (=

SOO's over! yay... had so much fun, esp. during the cheers competition. The sec ones look very amusing on kah kee hall stage, trying to impress the seniors at the galleries as well as other groups. it's very funny, lol, and I was laughing very hard inside. They were doing wacky stuff like taking off their shirts, kicking their shoes, waving their shirts and shoes and going on stage barefooted. One grp even painted on their body to show aggression. Rahhh!!! zzz... guess it didn't work out cause they sounded like mice. But i sincerely applaud them for their courage. No sacarsm in this, really.

Like any other orientation, it brought back memories when I was a freshman as well as when i organised it last year. Thinking back, I think this time, the orientation pale in comparison with the previous orientations that hc have. Is it the batch problem? Is it within our circle of control or is it something that can't realy be helped. I can't answer these questions, nor do the other seniors can truly give the exact answer. Only our juniors can do so. It's all up to them, not us. We had our turn to make it happen and we are proud of our entire year for what we have contributed to the council. It has become our own story, something that we will treasure. Now it's your turn, so create your own story and do hc proud.

was feeling rather awkward at sec 1 ep3 orientation. Was in the ops room talking to seniors and hearing the sec ones cheer outside ops room. Then i went to the np section to check out what's happening. Lots of squadmates were there helping out. Hey jon, you did a great job, really... if not for him and the team, i think no one wants to join np le. Sid was at his best, talking loads of rubbish to convince the sec ones and I guess it worked. yay... now we can reach our target of 42 cadets ^^ which means more work is to be done -.- how ironic but nvm. I guess I'm somehow torn apart with np and council and i think it will up to me on how am I gonna strike a balance between these two as well as my sch work. Bleh, sec 4's gonna be busier than sec 3 but i don't mind at all, heh. Jiayouz! I wore that self-motivation shirt ytd for council dinner, which had the word "belief" on it. Think that will be my ethos for the new year, to have self-belief and confidence in myself to accomplish whatever there's for me to do that I must do and learn through these experiences. The end result motivates me and will keep me going no matter how diffcult the process may be. Lots of problems will come along but who cares? Bring it on! xD

And so i set my new year resolutions:

1) Attain a kickass 1.00 MSG and get into college.

2) To do one, mug harder

3) Get a S/SGT rank as well as SPF-NPCC badge

4) Ensure that all council events are a smashing success and all 34th HSC councillors bond together. It's our turn guys, woohoo!

5) Win Quiz Comp

6) Paint more pieces

7) Learn to dance

8) To build better bonds and relationships with the ones I love and spend more time with them. Always be there for them when they need me the most.

9) To be nicer to everyone and control my temper in order to have lesser confilcts

10) To have all these resolutions come true! xP

Gah... my thumb hurts as I type. Injured it during the dance at council dinner last night. Geez.. tried to break, then ended up hurting myself. See what I mena by learn to dance? But I'm not complaining cause council dinner was a success too! It was a simple affair at poolside but nonetheless everyone had fun. Thanks Ms Foo, qi han and jang for giving me this opportunity to organise this dinner! it's my pleasure to have helped out... hey I think I know why I'm happy, cause it's this winning feeling that I'm getting and it's even more apporpriate when the end-of-year draws close... that feeling of being able to conquer anything that comes my way... so let's welcome the new year! Boy, I wonder what this new year have in store... quite eager to find out..

With that, jiayouz everyone I know! All the best!

brushofmight

it's a new beginning...

christmas

2006-12-26T09:44:00.000+08:00

Song: When you believe - Mariah Carey

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

... i think i know why i keep jumping around and singing rubbish songs, if that's the theory that most people have about me. I realised something... that it's all in the genes. hehe... i like the word genes... esp. the first few letters... but anyway back to the topic. I realised it this morning at home and to my surprise my dad was jumping around (more of lumbering. lol) and singing rubbish songs. Well, not exactly rubbish songs but songs i dont really know, more like oldies in the 60s and 70s... zzz.. and his voice doesn't help at all. Then my mum said he was the king of dance during that time... -.- i look at my dad again and was thinking: you sure? oh my, sheesh, if twenty and thirty years down the road I'll look like that then...

I think the point was brought across. Anyway, christmas was boring. Bored to tears. Apart from family gatherings and stuff there was nth much. And I had work to do so tata to holiday even though i swear i wasnt gonna touch any of my work during christmas. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.

Was sort of spring-cleaning my house on the eve. Cleared lots of stuff. And i actually found my gameboy somewhere... wheee! I thought i lost it or something. Found my cartridge in the kitchen cabinet. Zzz... can't believe my dad kept it there lor... say it was to preventme for playing too much. Darn, of all places, why didn't I think about the kitchen cabinet. Then I found some other games which i played when I was young but ended up in that cabinet to prevent me from addiction. Gosh, thinking back, i think it was v. childish. And my gameboy still works after a long time! woohoo! that's what i love about japanese products, last longer. I bet if it's made in China it wouldn't last so long.

Found some random toys like power rangers and pokemon. I laughed at myself when I saw them, haha. Cant believe i went crazy over them and i realised how childish i was when i was young, lol. Will upload pics soon... so watch this space ^^ blogger's super slow at uploading

gotta rush off now... I feel happy and I know it.... so I clap my hands! haha.

brushofmight

Because you are loved...

festive season

2006-12-24T13:14:00.000+08:00

Song: You are Loved ( Don't give up) - Josh Groban

okay finally, i'm back from reality... gosh i would rather be surreal and live in my own world than being in this hopeless world. I'm zombified i tell you. been sleeping at 1 or 2 every night. The worst was on wed, 3.30am... zzz... now i phased out. My mind's a blank and i'm too tired to think. Shall briefly blogged what happened in the life of a zombie... zzz...

Wed:
AGM. Bird too funny, so wasn't culled. Generally too boring, so fast forward plaze...

Afternoon - went for council meeting. Apparently, our council item still sucks and the remix that i did was too plain and simple to be even considered as a remix... but it's seriously a remix... Remixes are defined as taking two or more songs and establishing them together as a single song, and there's a significant change in them. Is it not defined as such? I dun know and I dun care. It's nice to me... but nvm, shall mix and match again. I find it quite weird to find my fellow comm member to criticise so loud and much about the remix even though he has a part to play in this too. Love critics anyway, dun really give a damn about it. It's funny how i react to criticism, for it always gives my mind a clearer picture with additional perspectives which at first I didn't see because, um, maybe I'm not perfect. Oh yeah, which thus brings me back to my weird logic about perfection. If practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, then why practise in the first place since you can never be perfect? I would prefer near-perfection, or another view that the perception of perfect is diff. from person-to-person. It's like i can be perfect in smb's eyes but not to another person... hmm... nah... shan't think too much... simply mind-bloggling, *yawns, item is so troublesome but anyway, we still can't finalise the entrance so meeting adjourned. no dotA.OB though, not a lot of ppl present anyway.

Went to take a lot at SOO banner painting. their banner's so last min, so messy. It looks like a chicken can... and the gradient's not even obvious. Even my grandmother can paint better than that... no peeps, this is no exaggeration. Sigh... I don't know how leh, hmm... there can be miracles, when you believe... ^^ so yeah, jiayou OT! SOO whoosh! xD.

Kah Kee Hall next, went to play badminton next. Woohoo... was quite good at it, trashed jia chen. okay maybe not really trashed but apparently his near-the-net skills arent as good as mine so drop shots the way to go. Er... but i think i must bring up the fact that the number of unforced errors that we both made are simply uncontactable, so er... i guess you can guess and predict the standard of the game...

And then fts called. Ask me go cine. He's drinking tea with marcus... zzz... what a joke. Says that utp ppl going to cine too. Okay lor, dragged myself to cine, since I havent been to orchard for quite long, specifically the last time i went was before i go for china trip. alicia, geneve, and fel oh came. talked at some hongkong cafe that was playing jay chou songs. lol, so zhongguo feng. but i think marcus and fts are nuts, eating lunch in some place like that. how noob can they be? I seriously wonder. Dy lah marcus, purposely left the seat beside geneve empty. You good, zzz... wadeva can... i cant be bothered about your antics. Then came up with some mickey and minnie theory... bleargh... what kind of theory was that may I ask? It doesn't even make sense. After that left the place to walk around taka.

Then one question crossed my mind: why am i here in the first place? i was sian after the initial high (not D) so I left. First time in my life i couldn't care about what time I go home and i felt so honoured. ^^ dun bother if you dun understand. So ta-dah, day gone, whee.. slept at 3.30 that night, rushed np cards. Felt as if I got a hangover when I woke up the next morning. Still cannot forget how I felt.

Next two days nth much, usually it's np stuff: cards/ecards, marshall duty and council: meeting/rehearsal plus some fun. Same thing, slept very late. bleh, now you know why my life sucks big time.

Fast forward to today. hehex i get to wake up leh, i dun care. woke up at 9, the latest time i woke up so far in my life. The earliest was 4 or no slp at all. Chiong for buddies briefing... so cool, went there when they are cheering... it's better than the previous meeting that they have but still, they lack the heart. The heart is the most impt element in cheering, it's common sense. But not everyone can do that, with pride and passion and I don't sense them in the buddies. Cheering for the sake of cheering and being loud. Dun think they understand why they cheer, haiz. But anyways they were quite bonded today, were quite high. Talked to them with jia chen and the grand seniors. Frankly speaking, I cant pep-talk very well, maybe i felt that i was reiterating too much and repeating what was said since i wasnt there at the earlier part. 4 days, left, oh please... may a miracle happen... that's one of my christmas wishes, ranked 3rd. I shant say the first though, felt pretty purple about it.. 2nd was for family and friends and the world.

After that went to reccee at IMM with jia chen. surprisingly it was my second time there, still got kind of lost. but it's quite zai over there, hehex. Went daiso to look for logistics and souvenirs, and i think we had a great idea. See.. dynamic duo worx. Pretty funny how we got the idea. We walked past a psuh-cart with 2 kids on it, playing with toy-amplifiers. Basically they were just shouting at each other and then at this moment we looked at each other:

Me: Are you thinking what I'm thinking, b1?
JC: Yes, I am thinking what you're thinking, b2...

Lol, so banana-in-pyjamas... see... it's synergy. In the end bought one of that for sample as a souvenir. It looks very lc but well, i guess some decor will help a lot. And it's within the budget.. and the best thing is it completely fits our theme: crescendo. woohoo... lady luck's smiling on us. Hope the others will agree. I'll push for it.. jc will second it, haha. Went library to do project, but nth much came out of it.

Sian, still got lots to do. Zzz... i swear that I'm not gonna touch any of my work during christmas, it's for me to enjoy. not like this one week of 1-2am slps... can't take it. Oh, and i bought a nice t-shirt for self-motivation at ps with my parents. You'll know why when you see it ^^ and a christmas prezzie for me!! shant disclose, go figure... xD

And i'm done.. and oh yea, merry christmas eve!

brushofmight

may it an evening star,
shines down upon you...

the last time

2006-12-18T12:44:00.000+08:00

hello world... i feel so happy today, are you happy like me?^^

I shall make it a point to consistently blog when I really have to time, if not mosquitoes will just breed again. I must show that I have life okay... (=

16/12/06:
Stoned at home in the morning. I think i'm getting used to stoning and phasing out every now and then, ever since I came back from China. I'm stoning super fast Did some work cause i made a pact with my mum that if I finish my hw and art she would let me go out. Gosh, my home sounds like some prison and my mum's the warden. But at least i got something done, if not i'll feel guilty for the rest of my hols and until it's over. Finished 3 pieces, still have one more to go, plus 2 big pieces. Eeks, dun think i can finish them in the hols... blast this...

Fast forward to UTP outing. woohoo! it's nice to have everyone back together, and it's really heartening to see all of us together, just like the good old times of UTP, yeps yeps... still can rmb the fun times we had, like throwing books here and there and messing lots of things up. Went too east coast, played cards, walked along the beach then went to macs. Before that, we were at parkway, where alicia's pretty smart to say that they're outside isetan, when isetan has like 3 lvls? Felt like laughing at this point cause we really do seem like a bunch of idiots goofing around. Hmm... let's see, we have a ducky that goes quek, an out of body-proportion beckham, 2 monkeys fooling around, one alica, a clever grace and a i-dunno-what eldwin. And me xD walked randomly around parkway parade. Then tai soon bought this ball that seriously resembles him ^^ round and jolly...

Went to ecp. Like dy marcus and hj lah! try to throw me into the water. -.- one, i have my phone with me. two, I don't have extra clothing, thus i dun wanna get wet darn it, and three, why me? zzz... fortunately I ran fast enough to elude both of them, if not i would have turned into a wet chicken. Yes I know marcus, bird... so spastic. And what's with the *ahem* picture of the words written on the sand? anyways, for all I know I don't really care... whatever man, goodness. Played cards by the beach; specifically hearts and bridge. lol sounds pretty cool eh? bridging hearts... ^^ like it's some welfare organisation. Link back to utp and cip. Heh, we are such caring and loving people, aren't we? aww... like a family, teehee. ah nvm, this is getting lame. Decided to go bowl, then realised that we don't have lanes because of some competition some organisation's holding. Bleargh. this stinks, and it's making us walk aimlessly with no specific direction. Felt ungry, so macs we go. Met geneve, li hui and cheng yi at macs, then decide to go biking. woohoo! biking's pretty fun, and I'm hooked ever since dte. The uncle was so nice, I thought he had a motive, lol. Over-suspicious. Cause he's charging at $5 per hour for a supposedly $6 suspension bike. Okay lor, if you insist, we'll gladly have it ^^

Va va voom! And we're off. fast and furious... drift, drift, drift... lol, deja vu. I think the song's quite zai. all those jap words are pretty funny and weird, and I dun understand a single word of it, but who cares? Very interesting style of music, wonder why people fine it irritating. Isn't this how jap girls speak english? Hey you must applaud them for their effort, or applaud those ppl trying to imitate, think they did quite a gd job. Anyway if this pisses people off, then I guess I've found a new weapon, hehex. Anyways, turned out that my suspicions were right. Li hui's bike encountered some problem halfway through. Ahha, see? I knew I was right all along. And my bike seat's movable; kept twisting and turning even though it should be locked. Dang, got scamed. No free lunch in this world, lol. Nah, shan't be so petty, must be magnanimous, teehee xP

night falls, went to bedok jetty. Thought it was in bedok. Beautiful sky with the setting sun, and lovely sea. Sun, sky, sea! Aww... so sweet.... haiz, wish up-ers can be together.. forever... and have more of such outings... sobs, will miss you people, esp. in the coming year where everyone will be busy again. I'll be back next year, I promise, after my China trip again, lawl.

it's the last time... holding on to eternity

17/12/06:
Went to national library after tuition on Sun. There was this exhibtion on the designs for the *scape beside cineleisure. A lot were themed with greenery and stuff. Voted for the three most funky designs. Hmm.. actually I voted for those that has dance/music/art studios. Arts rule! rawr!!! ( oops, I'm becoming an lian?) Let's dance baby! woohoo! dy lah, there's too many trees in Singapore, so the new *scape should be modern and "in", not some garden full of trees that's gonna be diffcult to aintain with all the falling leaves. And it must fit into Orchard. Oh I voted for the one that has the picture of "tokyo drift". Means that change will be fast and furious, and it will be up in no time. Geez.. wonder if it's the next big thing for teens. I think there's a high possibility, after vivo that is.

Borrowed "black house" by stephen king, jin yong's xiao ao jiang hu and a book on plato's the republic. Random picking of books, cause i felt sian and shld borrow some books to feel that I'm actually doing smth. -.- okay fine, that's weird logic but I still feel a sense of accomplishment =D claps people! at least I'm still able to drag myself to the library on a rainy day... After that went to gramophone to buy cds for friends. It's quite cheap there, cheaper than hmv i think. Must be some christmas specials or something. Gosh, there isn't any new albums out that interests me, that I wanna buy for myself. DB and yellowcard haven't release any new albums yet though, so I'll shall have fun waiting... ^^

went for SOO today. haiz, don't talk about it, it saddens and disappoints me alot. I think only a miracle can save them. May the force be with them, and they certainly need Godspeed... it's only 9 days. Wake up people!

lol, I'm off to bed, quite tired le, shall vet tmr morning bah...

brushofmight

you made me stronger...

let's get it started

2006-12-14T20:04:00.000+08:00

okay, i'll face the reality, that i've not much time left. The entire last week of my hols are taken up and I'm left with a few more days to get serious. Slacking a lot lately, and i'm extremely guilty about it. It's time i do something, before that soft and gooey thing in head continues to rot away. Most probably i've forgotten the stuff I've mugged for the exams and it's getting worse day by day. Like how was I was totally stunned when jc mentioned newton's laws to me a few days back. zzz.... can't remember anything... only rmbed his 3rd law, that action, reaction thing. That made me believed that everything happens for a reason and what goes around comes round, what goes up must come down. oh no, this is not good, and i don't like this situation one bit. bleh... i'm turning into a dumbass like naruto...

but heck, don't talk about school stuff le, so boring and disheartening. enjoyed myself today hehex... np's quite fun. went to csc at bukit batok after division meeting. agm's so troublesome... meetings every now and then, it's getting on my nerves. but anyway meeting was quite okay in preparation of agm. lucky maumu's still in china, so no worries... ha.. no loud emails which we have to feel his wrath...

Played pool! and it's pretty cool!... cause it's by the pool!... lol, serious, it is... don't ask me why but yeah, the design's like that. weird eh? but anyway I got owned by jang the pro dude. beats me flat, usually with around 3 or 4 of the balls which I haven't shoot them in with the white ball when he got the black one in. Okay lor, pro lor... got trashed. I think I lacked practice. Missed A LOT of easy-petesy shots and it's so embarassing. heh but the funny thing is i did some great stuff! like "whoaaa!! I didn't know I could to that!..." that kind of stuff, which surprises me sometimes. For example, I had an easy shot which I intend to get a pink ball into one of the side pockets. Then I hit it so hard that the pink one didn't go in but another ball which was purple miraculously got in because of the rebound. Hmm... isn't funny when such things happen, when they happen so unexpectedly, and then you realised that the purple one should be yours after all and not the pink one? It's pretty much unbelievable that it happened but the end result is just magical. Okay, i digressed, never mind if you don't get it. (=

Fun stuff today... didn't go bowling with the others though, was quite tired after the pool. and it was a cool day of cool stuff, cause it rained. -_-, yep it did. okay gotta do some work... till next time then... =D

brushofmight

I'm no longer there

a new look

2006-12-14T07:45:00.000+08:00

hey world!

whee... i'm back with a brand new look, got kinda sick of the old skin and i was thinking since it's gonna be a new year soon, it's a great time to change the template. I think it looks quite okay, don't you think so? ^^ I mean it's quite simple, the text can be read easily, the pic's quite beautiful, what's more that you can ask for? I think the only problem's the scroll bar. Spent about an hour plus browsing through blogskin before coming to this. Seriously, i think the skins there are not very good, well at least not to my taste. Either their color combi is "total-winner", it is too ghastly in terms of design (red and green, pink and yellow... yep you know what i mean) or there are diffculties in navigation in the blog.

Sorry for not updating: quite busy with meetings and been going to school almost every single day. Heck, this isn't holidays at all. Gosh, a couple or more weeks to go before the madness starts again. I haven't been mugging much, but who cares lah, wth. Lots of things to do next year, hope i won't die that badly, and i've set my goals, teehee...

1) Get a kickass 1.00 and get into college
2) Do well in Council and NP
3) Mug
4) Always be there for someone
5) Enjoy my last year in high school

woohoo... long pants next, kinda cool eh? hehex... can't believe i'm sec 4, time really flies. Miss utp loads, still can't forget the times we had, packing books and goofing around. And i miss iCouncil too, jiayou juniors! the farewell was quite okay... and of course Invest' 07! lol, on a high now.... ^^ oh, and I feel that i'm one of the 2 happiest persons in the world now... hehex... know why? really wanna know why? nah, don't tell you.. zzzz..... go figure... (=

brushofmight

and the wait is over...
i can't lie to myself anymore
it's too painful
moved on...

home sweet home

2006-11-25T21:33:00.000+08:00

hello world!!! I'm back from China, yeeeeeha!

omg omg omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can't believe it!!! i'm finally back!!!!!!!!!!!!! back to where I belong. Words cannot say how much I miss my mum and dad, my grandparents, relatives, relatives, friends, school, my home, my bed, my com... and the list goes on. phew.. luckily i didn't transform into some china dude, else, I would be mistaken for some PRC. That thought seriously gives me the creeps, not that I'm discriminating PRCs but it's freaky for me.

went mad on the plane back to Singapore. Like shouting everything related to Singapore: hainan chicken rice, char kway teow, hokkien mee, laksa, curry chicken, Bishan, Toa Payoh, Ang Mo Kio, choa chu kang, yio chu kang, boon lay, jurong east, city hall, dhoby ghaut, orchard road, somerset, changi airport, expo, harbourfront, woodlands, pasir ris, PIE, CTE, SLE, KJE, BKE, TPE, ECP, talking cock, mee siam mai hum, mr brown, workers' party, PAP, SDA, SDP, Straits Times, ZaoBao... eh.... i think that's enough...

Still trying to adapt back to the environment. The familiar usage of Singlish, multi-racial, pink i/c, lighted streets and numerous traffic lights, oh well, i think i momentarily forget my way home. Man, this is so weird, the feeling of a foreigner inside me. Nvm, i think it's normal. If i dun get back to my usual self in a week then here seriously is something wrong.

dang, my mailbox's clogged up. happy reading then... hasta la vista, baby... ^^

brushofmight

I just want you to know...
that i haven't given up...

set me free

2006-11-12T21:02:00.000+08:00

okay wow, isn't this wonderful? I'm in a place where the chinese call it mamaland, and although I do not know why there wasn't any papaland or whatsoever, or maybe there was some gender inequality or discrimination, but yeah, the fact remains that i'm stuck in China. And literally too. 1.3 billion and rising, any normal human being would have given a thought about overpopulation. Seriously seriously, I feel the squeeze and there's not enough space even for a foreigner like me. Even their homes are uber small. That's why i'm stuck. Get what I mean? Never mind if you don't.

One thing that pleases me is that their homes have coms! At least I'm able to read my mail before it's too late, erm I believe you know what I mean? especially when you are away from home in a state full of commis and the scenario is that there isn't a basic com for you to use. oh great, china, gai ge kai fang, modernisation, technological advances, research and development and so on and so forth. Hmm... maybe we should think a little more deeper. On the surface, we see China's fast development in technology. The sleeping dragon awakes, China's fast becoming a superpower, massive foreign investment. Like for example, my host's father has a super cool phone with bluetooth function? Yeah, and he's from a middle class family. You understand the situation? Good. But if we observe closely, we see the ugly side of the Chinese society, of poverty. Judging from the no. of beggers you can see alone on one street, there's still a lot to be done in terms of China's social developement. Went to a village sch yesterday. The kids are dirt-poor and the facilities in the sch aren't basic at all. Wooden chairs, tabes, chalkboard, run-down buildings, you might just think that you have just enter a warzone or a desolated ghost town. Old people sitting by the street, doing nothing. Whta happened to job structuring and re-training? Is it their destiny to be like that forever? I strongly disagree. These are the people left behind by this fast-paced economic development and something must be done. And the roads of the cities can represent the social situation. One word: messy. You can count yourself lucky to be alive just from crossing a street. I'm serious. Face it. It's the ugly side of society and it's definitely worseing. Something must be done. I wanna stay there help them. Do some CIP. It will be much better than some exchange programme. Stop hiding the truth. Point made.

okay so back to my trip. I say i'm a true blue Singaporean, cause I puked like the Merlion. Hey cool, it seems to rhyme. But that's beside the point. Hmm, i dunno whether to laugh or not but right after I made my last blog post, I vomited. All my dinner. The computer room sucks. Apart from the computers still living in the win 98 era, it's super stuffy plus I thnik I ate too much. So out goes my dinner like a waterfall. Total three times. Need not describe how was it. Was just mentally and physical painful. You feel like you are vomiting out your organs and then your chest hurts. A lot. Seriously, I hate vomiting. I can still remember the pain in my stomach and chest. Felt like dying. I knew I had food poisoning. Went to hospital. Got the shock of my life. Crazy people. Ask me to draw blood. And then when I had diarrhoea you kno what they told me to do? Hmm... I don't think you wanna know what i did but let's just say I gave them a sample. I think they are crazy over testing. I had to do everything on my own. No nurses at all. Can just fire all of them lah. Fortunately, there were teachers to help. Seriously speaking, I never want to experience that sort of thing again. They do not put the patient's welfare as their top priority. I think that's the main difference between the health services of Singapore and China. Then after that I'm the first to be admitted, stuck in hospital for 5 days. Saw others coming in to stay with me, lol. Turned out to be a massive food poisoning. I recovered in like 2 days? Held us back because of their snail-speed tests and cultivation. They suspected it's some communical disease. -.- Thorughout my stay, I realised the place is super messy. There's no specific nurse to a patient. And the instructions for the medicine weren't clear. And they are obessessed with needles too. They poke you to put you on drips, even when you are asleep. Not sure whether the needles are clean or not. They say the usage is always once and it's always in packets. Just have to trust them. Didn't have much of a choice. Wasted a few days of the trip.

I would sincerely like to thank iSpark for showing me so much concern and I could feel all of your warmth even when I'm sick in China. I realised what a wonderful family I am in from all the love and care that the consortium has showed me when i had food poisoning. Recieved the get well card; it's beautiful. Thank you Ms Tey, Ms Gwee, iCouncil, Jia Chen, Jang, Mr Tan, Ms Shieh for your care and concern when I was in hospital. Thank you to everyone who was concerned about me and everyone who helped me in one way or another. It gave me strength to get better. I'm now alright and out of hospital. Currently in Shandong, trying to learn as much as I can to make up for lost time when I was in hospital. Really miss you all, especially my family and friends. I'll be on 24th, so see you then! This trip really is an eye-opener. Think I'll miss it when I go back home, especially the scenery.

Lots of funny things happened though along the trip: how I got a massive bball rejection from hongsheng - super funny reaction, how lc's wallet dropped into the pond, how me, alvin, pao pao crazily went mountain-climbing, and also stooped by the roadside like idiots because we got lost, the day I fell in love with a puppy, how everyone was imitating Shieh lao shi's line etc. Super funny stuff. Can't rembmer everything. Shall blog whn i thought of it, haha. Oh yeah, and how me and alvin were going "Li Lian Hua" in a super high note, imitaing Rock lee in Naruto, haha. Getting damn high in China, woohoo! I sound like Ohichimaru though, that super high-pitch voice. Good ting there's naruto on tv. I think I'm addicted to it, haha.

I think I shall go shower. Very tired and sleepy. Zzz... Nites people...

brushofmight

where'd you go?
i miss you so...
seems like it's been forever
that you've been gone...

everlasting hope

China

2006-10-30T19:10:00.000+08:00

whoa.... so cool.... i'm in China, blogging away. eh wait, you don't know where's China? aha, noob, dun tell you... hahaha...

China. 1,3 billion ppl, apparently super overcrowded. They say that if every Chinese spit, it will drown the entire Singapore. Well, it's a very bad fallacy, cause it's logically unsound, and it's just plain exaggeration based on assumption. You know, you can't really assume, cause it makes an ass(of )u(and)me. yep, that's assume. Okay enough of stupid stuff, now let's get back to business.

Quite a nice place, at least there's air-con dorms....

eh... goodness, gtg, this is spoiling my mood. Never mind, I shall blog when I get back... kekex....

nice one... i think this really sucks... dun know how i'm gonna survive. ONE month in China okay.... can someone just kill me, please? ><

brushofmight

don't worry, I won't forget. happy bdae! xP

let me lie with you, and forget the world...

it's all a fallacy

2006-10-21T23:59:00.000+08:00

okay, great. exams are over... whoa... oh yeah... should be over the moon right?

hey, wait, how come it's over the Sun for me? Sian... under pressure even after exams... i think this is just plain crazy. nth else. Kinda expected it, with so many events coming. Anyways, they are gonna be my swansong for iCouncil, so yep, must do it good and right... i am gonna miss the times we had together... and it's gonna feel weird next year being out of iCouncil...

so where'd I go?

HSC Selection Camp was psycho. and i mean it. but it's super fun and unique. Who has ever thought of so many surprises during the camp? I swear it's cryptic; we can't seem to predict what's gonna happen, like the nomination for chief and assistant chief for each group, then surprise surprise they formed the elite team Code Red. But Sponge Bananaz still rocks. we are the only group that complete all the stations during the amazing race can... now how's that ^^ how we do it you ask. Don't tell you.... (haha, you got owned) Go figure. First-class geniuses in the making. And the night activites were crazy... believe me, you will never know till you try it first-hand. Funny thing is, I enjoyed it a lot... felt that it was super meaningful... gahh... I think i screwed up my interview though >< , really hope that I would get through. omg, i really want to be in the team... pls pls... oh gosh, it was always my dream and it still is... pls pls pls let it be okay.... hope everything's gonna be alright. Haven't thought of what will happen of me if I dun make it. One year without council work and breathing council life? You can just kill me instead... i swear...

(the blood of a hwazhong zidi runs through my veins. Council is my life. Living and breathing it everyday. And the spirit of The Chinese High School lives on...)

Whatever the outcome, I will not let anyone nor myselfdown, and esp. the seniors. Seniors, you guys rock! just wanna say thank you for everything during my years in hua zhong as a councillor. I won't be standing at where i am now without all of you. Now I truly understand the meaning of being a true huazhong councillor. Enlightened, i am. I wanna shout out to everyone in the world now in my own little space, that I AM PROUD TO BE A HUAZHONG ZIDI/COUNCILLOR! rest assured that the legacy will live on...

(I opened my eyes, and there was Light)

Results are quite okay for me. I am proud of my sciences. Eng and Chi dun really matter, since i just need a B3 for both EOYs. I think I might be able to get 1.00. Not so sure about that. Chem and IH unconfirmed. ><>< meaning not much improvement 0.O noooooooo..... always stuck the no. ? dunno, I'll know on thurs.

Flying off soon to China on the 27th oct morning. And I'm not liking that at all, esp. the date! WHY!? why must it be on the morning of 27th? This is not good, not good at all >< oh gosh, what am I gonna do? Why does it have to be this way?

(I carry my own dreams and hopes, pls dun shatter them, oh pls, no.... my heart has broken once, dun break it again)

will i ever live strong again?

brushofmight

I'm still not giving up. Never will.

the end is near...

2006-10-08T18:31:00.000+08:00

yayness... it's only a few more hours to freedom! err... well not exactly freedom in a sense cause I still have el 2 and chi 1 after bio but at least i can relax cause the last heavy-mugging subject will soon be over... yep, i wanna repeat that again... it will soon be OVER..... the hedge.... haha, being random...

Meaning that I will be free soon... gahh.. eoys, just let me go. sigh... i want to break free... liberation is within sight...isn't freedom a basic human right that everyone should have, regardless of who you are? Darn, I'm still bounded by education for another three years before i go bald... woohoo... hey so cool, three more years and it's the time of "from boyz to men" Rawr!!! okay i dunno why but I feel super gungho and macho now... hah!! haiya! yep it's time to fight... down with bio! i'm a bruce lee, cause you will have "bruises" all over and you can't win me! no chance mate. Checkmate, you're dead. okay, point is, i'm prepared for bio. c'mon, BRING IT ON!!

okay okay, back to main subject. oh my, time really flies... everything's happening too quickly. Must treasure the time I have left to be a teenager where we still can live in a world of fantasy ^^

wow, i can't believe it. I actually sat on my sofa for 8 hours straight just to mug bio. how's that man *smirks* okay I'm proud of myself. okay, gonna eat dinner, till next time on "kung'fool' bruce lee "! (:

brushofmight

still i will always fight on you...

mid-autumn

2006-10-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

oh yeah just rmbed that it's mid-autumn and it's heartening to see families, young and old, together celebrating the festival. Felt like a kid again... as I rmbed the times I celebrated the festival whole-heartedly and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Sign.. i think i' grwoing up too fast... too fast too furious, till memories are slowly fading away.

Went to my granny's hse: she's still quite healthy. But must control her diet though, dun want the same horrifying thing to happen to her again. And she forgot who I am again, must constantly remind her... and I think i shld visit her more often. Gahh... globalisation and modernisation are breaking bonds too, instead of the perceived formation of new bonds and connectiveness through improved communications that made this world really small. But in some way, the older generation can't keep up with the times; not they do not want but they can't. And we are all so busy with our own stuff and keep up with the pace that there isn't time for us to be with them.. thus loneliness sets in just because they can't pace with the speed of the changing times.

And it's PSLE time too. Rmbed my primary sch days, mugged so hard that i wasn't able to slp on the night before the first paper. And now they are just memories. Cousin taking the paper, left with science and higher chinese. Dunno why she wants to go back to her affiliated sch, scgs. I mean like she's very good in her studies, so why not rgs? hey hey, no offence really, but I think she's suited for rg, from her style and everything... maybe it's the love for the sch? dunno, but she can excel in anywhere she goes... yep.. jiayou!!!

be strong believe...

brushofmight

Precious memories
how they linger
how they ever flood my soul

But here I am again
With nothing left inside

And hope, dangles on a string
like slow-spinning redemption

conquer thyself

2006-10-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

okay wow, unbelievable... i survived the exams... 5 down, 3 more to go (:

oh yeah oh yeah (banana emoticon) i'm loving it! hey have you eaten? if not, go MACs!!! ownzzorrs.... zai worx worx.. rawr!!! be afraid... be very afraid... who's the man huh... wazzup people, oh yea are you getting the feeling of being owned... like owned real flat and bad?... oh man, c'mon! it's gonna be over... like... really OVER.... the moment I have been waiting for all along... kekex...

kk.. sorry... went a little crazy there, think it's just me when I'm super-stress, and seriously even for myself, I don't even know what I am really talking about. just spurting out random stuff that comes to my mind. oh well, can't help it, just bear with my rubbish for a bit. I think i'm going bonkers. hmm... maybe I was crazy all along, just that when it's crunch time and I'm feeling the heat (yep I've low specific heat capacity) or when it's over, it goes real bad. It always happen to me, like I'll do stupid stuff like jumping around from left to right and then back again, or just kicking against concrete walls. omg, i think i'm going mad. having lots of mood swings...

okay back to the topic of exams.. well suppose to be mugging for bio but found myself typing. heck, who cares? like when physics, chem, math are all gone? And I have 2 full days of studying. Plus I studied bio throughout that PK course and I mugged my afternoon away.

On the whole, exams were around my expectations.

Chinese Paper 2: was relatively easy. most of answers can just copy and paraphrase directly from the passage but the close was killer. And some ppl did the summary from para 2 to 5 of the passage, when it stated para 2 yu^3(and) para 5. hmm.. since when was the initial passage that was supposed to be summarized by us that long? so it's umm... good luck to them...

English: average paper. Expected topics. More like a humans essay. I did "integrity, wisdom and charisma. which one do you think is the most important in a leader?" hmm... i think integrity's the best choice, cause it is the moral values as well as the strength of differentiating right from wrong that empowers the wisdom and charisma and channels them into the right usage with the right energies. so yeah, that;s my take. And speech writing came out. Pretty okay, esp. when it's a speech for HC Current Affairs Symposium. Aha, slc style... ^^ and I just need 62.5% for Paper 1 and 2 combined. Could have gotten exemption, screwed up term 3's test, so no more...

Physics: Super easy. seriously, i think the setter's way lenient and hmm... shld I say unoriginal. But i think going through the mock exam papers help a lo, cause he picked some simlar questions and just changed the numbers. I think i overmugged for this subject. Oh well nvm, it's over... no more drawing vector diagrams.. kekex... Confirm can get the 75% I dearly need for an overall A1.

Chemistry: Easier than expected, when the expected is ultra-difficult. C'mon lor, it's ms letchmi, and we all know how high her standard is . Last year's chem papaer was killer. Fortunately, it was a little easier. Ah.... but i screwed up some questions lar... forgot some minor stuff here and there... shld be okay I hope. Need like 78% to get A1?

Maths: Mixed feelings. I always had a love-hate relationship with maths. And it depends on the teacher too. Glad that I managed to rmb that area of triangle is 1/2absin C even though I forgot to go through that but I forgot sin 135 is also sin 45. I was thinking: "how come the angle shown is acute and it's 135 degrees !? Gahh.. hate myself... I think i lost about ten marks and there's bound to be some careless mistakes, like accuracy errors and forgot to reject this value, that value. it's irritating and fusatrating. Knew how to do most of the questions though... even though it was tougher than the mock exams maumu gave. Nvm, just need an A2 to get an overall A1 for maths... teehee... still i think i pwned maumu's test wahaha... take it...

Left with biology. Not monology or triology but BIology. Yes, the subject that needs twice or more the number of mugging time of an average subject like chem, that's why it's BI. 11 chapters to complete! And each chapter has 30 over notes, some even 50 over... which adds up to be around 400 pages of notes. T_T sian... hope I can slugged it through... and after mon i can relax... woohoo... english compre paper 2 and chinese essay paper 1. Mug what? A dictionary/thesaurus? dude dinosaurs are extinct. like totally got owned? And just need to know the essay format that's all. So yep, may the force be with me for bio, cause I shall have the mass ( bio concepts) and acceleration ( fast mugging speed) cause F=ma. And may the chemistry be right. Oh boy, can't wait for the aftermath of bio... (heck, i think I'm going nuts, i'm got the mugging bug, now I'm talking rubbish). Nvm, gonna mug... till next time...

brushofmight

because you made believe in myself...
still waiting...

full steam ahead...

2006-09-10T20:57:00.000+08:00

okay I shall make this short and sweet...

this will be the final blog post before sch starts again and I shan't blog until the eoys are over so yep, here it goes...

got my 2-star today, yaphoo!!! (paul 2hill's really influential eh? wonder what that means anyway eh?) it feels fun to be back kayaking cause the feeling of paddling and being in control of your boat is simply awesome. unfortunately, I'm still quite dark and that irks me. Dark as charcoal, bleargh >< The course started late and I was early so went to stroll along east coast beach. the sun, the sand and the sea. paradise. haha, well if there's a little less people at the beach maybe it would have been better. And it's been a long time since I last saw the sky and the sea so beautiful. The sky glowing, the sea shimmering (yeah yeah, like myriads of diamonds right? reminds of primary school compo, haha...) It's just so perfect and the clouds fitted perfectly into the picture. Wished I brought my cam. And I've learnt how to paint clouds properly after some intense observation: for every dark, faded spot on a cloud there is always a pure white one above it. yep, I guess the stroll along the beach taught a lot. Observations are key to painting well... ^^

Embarking on a project, tasked to paint 4 watercolour paintings. Shall upload them after completion, as well as changing my skin... yep... but i think it's only possible after exams... sry...

lots of events coming up: projects' day grand finals, ispark nite, eoya, iCouncil Retreat so yeah, iCouncil will be in full force... lots of tests in the first week, with the triple sciences, chinese and others... so the lst week's a "cereal" killer. gosh haven't eaten cereal in a while, eh wait, that's random , so back to the main point. Hope I can survive but of course, after all, I'm only human...

brushofmight

the feeling's still strong...
so long, so long...

...everything's small on the ground below, down below...

2006-09-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

oh great, just realised that I have 3 weeks more to eoys instead of 2 during yesterday's EOYA meeting with ms gwee and ms letchmi. But does that make any difference? Definitely not... it frightens me when I think about the exams, and I think I can slip and fall anytime. This time, the fall's gonna be harder and it WILL hurt, judging from the height... holding on by the edge... precariously...

oh and nygh np's horizon challenge was pretty fun... had bio lessons so couldn't participate... hey if I had participated who knows we could have won right? haha.. ego ego... so last year we ate watermelons, this we pulled "tails" of others.. wonder what's next year's competition will be like... lol... slacky quek wasn't there even though he was the I/C. So me and yinghao (whoa, the 2 EA Chairmans back to back ^^) went to support the team. Got participation... haiz... better luck next time. And I gonna make my division the best one ever in thee unit man... woot... PK course is boring; it's full of info I already knew and it's a waste of 6 hours ++ of time.. like how do you define theft, or the organisational structure of SPF. Gosh, it wasn't worth listening so me and jang started mugging bio and I'm glad I brought bio notes cause somehow I anticipated that the course would turn out like that... xD so proud of myself, revised 5 bio topics, which half the amount needed for eoys... excellent mugging session, PK course provided. The CIs dun seem to care. And I'm gonna do the same thing for tmr cause it's gonna be the same duration like 9am to 5pm? blah... how boring, it's like one nice day wasted? Probably will bring chem or physics tmr.. ^^

oops, and here I am blogging even though I'm "suppose" to be in hibernation. well, I'm not extremely decisive... so pardon me for this post. I shall officially "disappear" after the "hols"... hehe...

brushofmight

What if I fall then where'd I go?
Would she know?

taking time off

2006-09-05T20:05:00.000+08:00

after much consideration... i decided i should go into hibernation

yep, so i won't be blogging much until eoys are over... so there won't be updates

sheesh, bio needs mugging, tmr mock test... mammalian blood circulatory system and plant tranpsort >< of symplasts and vena cavae... shall finish my painting after bio... (:

brushofmight

you tug my chordae tendineae...
believe...

term 4 week 0

2006-09-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

Just had that sudden urge to blog... so I shall make this quick

hey hey, yeah, I realised one very major flaw about me was that I tend to be very long-winded in everything I do, write or just simplysay. Really like some ah gong, never seem stop. Okay that's besides the point but I'm seriously trying to be concise and everything but I think it's just my style to say and write a lot. Dun worry, this post isn't gonna be long; serious mugging in store for me.

Ah gosh, exams are like 3 weeks away? I dun rmb exams being so near last year; in fact it was in week 5 of term 4. Simply great, now I have to mug a lot before sch reopens. Wait, when was sch EVER closed? Half the hols are gone but I've already spent definitely more than 30 hours in sch over the 2 days. No hols for me, it's just isn't the time to stop now. So it's term 4 week 0, yes, a zero. Heard that all the sciences as well as math eoys are going to be killers. And the amount of bio, chem, physics and maths notes on my desk is overwhelming. Urgh, the pressure >< someone throw me a lifeline... gahh... dun care, I'm going to get through all this s*** and get it over and done after some intense mugging. Give me strength...

Had maumu's lessons this morning in that hot, stuffy and stinky EL LRC. Almost died of suffocation. And np exco meeting coming up: even more stuff to do. Ah crap, just leave me alone to mug will you? This is infuriating and getting on my nerves. It doesn't help when I'm disgusted by Bush at the same time. Insisting that America is still respected and will be respected and saying it's every immigrant's dream to shift to America and live the American life. Oh pls... seriously speaking, I think he should be more concerned with the declining figures of foreign talent moving to America, decrease in immigrant's numbers, decrease in America's credibilty on the international stage and of course his approval ratings. Respect is earned through your actions, but from their rampant human rights problems across the country, street violence, rich-poor gini coefficient, racial discrimination which is still going on, as well as foreign affairs like Iraq and Israel-Hizbollah issues, he will have to think whether there's any strong respect left or not. Maybe for their past rapid economic development after the Cold War, yes, but not for their actions now... if I were to immigrate, I would choose anywhere but America... do something about it bush, before it's all just too late... just practise what you preach will you?

All hail Andre Agassi and Steve Irwin... goodbye Agassi, you just legendary and we'll rmb you for all the Grand Slams you won... happy retirement! goodbye Steve Irwin, we'll rmb for your achievements and your unwavering determination to deal with nature's most dangerous and show us the wonders of the Animal Kingdom. Crikey, rest in peace, and we'll miss you...

Okay, i think that's all for now... shall grab a quick bite before I start mugging...
tata...

brushofmight

still thinking of you
And i'm still missing you..

the vanishing good old times

2006-09-02T21:50:00.000+08:00

Allo world, i'm back.

okay so yesterday was suppose to be a day to "drink water and think of it's origin", cause it's teachers' day. As usual, normal school celebrations in the morning, then I had to give out this entire stack of teachers' day cards i bought as part of my duty being an EA Chair. Oh well, I still wondering why am I giving cards to teachers whom I dun really know or dun even teach me? Ah well, i guess it's in the name of helping the unit to build better relations with others and thus i gave out all the cards. Felt quite weird actually, *shrugs

And of course like any other year I went back to pei chun. Went with yi cheng and other 6c peeps. The 6a guys left before me; held up because of the cards, blah...

oh gosh, pei chun seriously changed alot. And I when I say alot, I really mean alot. The environment, the teachers, the atmosphere, all so different. And it doesn't feel like home at all. The feeling of going back home, back to where I once belong, has perished and does not exist in my heart anymore. And I can tell that the teachers dun welcome our presence; in fact I think they were scoffing at us. hmph, i think now the place has been empty of memories, memories once so dear to me. And if it weren't for chowchow and looloo, I might have thought that i've trespassed into an unknown school accidentally. It is not the peichun of old, the peichun i once knew. Sigh... anyway, met chowchow at the school hall, after going to macs to have lunch and after sometime of umm... random walking/stoning? lol, and I'm so glad I met chowchow; I miss her alot, her and looloo. Glad that she's alright and it's heartening to see her smile on her face when she saw us and at that point in time she really gave me a purpose to be back here in pei chun, well at least I can still feel nostalgia in the midst of all the unfamiliarity when I saw her. I miss her alot, esp. her lessons where she never fails to speak in a slow and monotnous tone when she teaches and all those reminders and words of concern showered upon us. Haha, and I rmbed she always seem to scold us a cool manner, haha no doubt she's very soft-spoken but i guess that there was a special kind of aura in her that we usually smiled awkwardly after we realised our mistakes and apologise to her. She's someone we highly-respect

Sheesh and it's very sad that looloo wasn't in sch. on maternity leave. just gave birth to a baby girl, so it's now wilger and verina loo, haha. The names are so cool and pretty unique =) Oh well, I really hope to see her and talk to her. Miss her rantings and scoldings a lot... really hope to see her the next time I go back. Seriously miss her loads. Mrs Loo and Chow Lao Shi, rock on! You will always be my teachers, forever

Saw loads of teachers, Deng lao shi (same old cheery mode ^^), Ms Lim, Simon Goh, Mr Tan and err... can't rmb, or is it that there isn't more worth to rmb? Shrugs, like most of the teachers who taught me are gone? Where's Mr Leon man? And, ahem, and the two form teachers of, ahem, the subsequent classes after A in that year when we were p6 are just their same old self: both are as nasty-looking as ever and they both look so fake... like eww... and they dun seem to like us at all and dun seem to welcome us back. nope, not one bit. Dun worry, 6a dun really like you two so there... it's not like we really care =D

and it's not the same, anymore... all that's left are just memories

lol, and the entire 6a peeps went to yx's hse. And boy, it was really fun. The rain never once dampened our cheery, hyped-up mode. haha, we seriously gossipped alot, and we sound like old people. We talked a lot and got retarded. Laughed a lot, for no whatever reason, probably at our selves? Read youknowwho's blog together, and hmm... well, i still dun understand why mj likes her? aiyah, I dun know, not for me to comment anywhere but needless to say I just can't stand her. Then we had alot of gossips here and there about random people. haha, and jm played hey juliet on the comp, and then immediately I was up dancing, Dun know why, but it seriously brings back alot of 12slc memories. 12slc's still in my heart and I can still rmb the moves yeah? haha, everything's so fun and awesome, and we watched she's the man and it pushed the existing highness to another new high (lol, punny) Guessed it was pretty much a no-brainer show but everything's in the name of funa and laughter. And i realised how girls like to give random and funny comments during movies... lol and then we had pizza for dinner. Simply laughing at everything and everybody was just being dumb and lame! Thx yx and family for allowing this grp of idiots in your home and make such a raucous =D, sry ^^

I realised 6a get to know each other better after we left pei chun. Hmm.. weird huh... We were so stupid and childish when we are p6. I think the gatherings that we had are always so fun and it's really worth the time to talk so much and interact. And we are all so different! Glad that I knew such a group of wacky, fun and meaningful friends, who will always be there when I needed help. 6a gatherings are so cool. 6a, we rock and you don't. go stone xP ad I wonder what becomes of us in the future? Will these gatherings still exist? And what will become of us? Who knows, maybe one of us may become a politician? a doctor? a lawyer? a pianist? a marine biologist? a guitarist? a fashion designer? a financial consultant? The possibilities are infinite. And when our paths will cross again? But one thing's for sure, 6a will always be 6a and the bonds that we share will last forever... and the memories will always be with us...

and we have all grown up

brushofmight

and I'm still waiting...

and it slows...

2006-08-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

oh wow, finished my notes for national day rally yesterday. it's like 11 pages long? -.- ||| ah well, but many of the issues discussed were very much predictable and repeated and i think the speech is more to re-emphasize certain key issues that is still bugging and will continue to bug Singapore and also to include new issues such as the new media and "heartware", where the PM talks about what defines a Singaporean and how can we go about cultivating a sense of belonging for the younger generation of Singaporeans. Issues like population, foreign talent, threats, and Asian as whole are discussed. Shall compile my notes ^^

Ahhhh.... the China guy I'm hosting is here!!! name's lin jian. oh gosh, i dun really know where to bring him. He's like going to all the expected attractions around Singapore. So how am I gonna bring him around Singapore in this case? *scratches head* lol fortunately boey helped me to look after my buddy temporarily while I had my kayaking. They were at Citylink's HMV when I arrived. Lol, and jon neo's gf pretty gd-looking, and I think he has good taste to choose someone of looks and brains haha... all the best man dude... they definitely look like an item...
Anyway my China dude went to see Merlion and the Esplanade so it's something pretty okay. I serious dun know where to bring him, thus decided that we shall go orchard, haha... lolz... Did some sight-seeing and then went to my house to stay for the nite. And OMG!! I think China guys have a knack of stripping to their undies and slp: differences of way of life. It gives me the creeps, probably I'm not used to seeing some almost nude china guy slping on my bed? I'm gay okay? so shoo off and do when in Rome, do what the Romans do. I'm totally striaght okay... so dun gay me... then I just politely told him about our way of life to being more conservative and he gladly wore his shirt, not his pants though >< definitely a cultural shock cause I usually wear sleeveless shirt and shorts to bed? It was pretty horrific...

Went to eat dim sum for breakfast on Sunday morning, then went to national library. dun know why China peeps love to read... and I dun understand the thick chinese books thaat they read, at all... differences in the standard of Singapore Chinese and Chinese Chinese ( national day rally, haha) Then met LC with his China buddy at Orchard MRT and guess what? We went to Borders. So we have more books, and like wow? but on the contrary I think it's a gd place to waste time; it's like big and filled with bks and you get lost pretty much easily and there are movie dvds and music cds available? But seriously speaking, Borders' bks are relatively cheap but never their albums and cds they sell. It's like way overprice. I mean like one cd of fort minor's rising tied costs like $27++ there? Cause after that we went HMW at Heeren and guess what again? The cds are like so cheap? Fort minor's rising tied cost like 19.90 over there? $7 yo $8 cheaper? lol, fortunately didn't kill myself and buy from borders, haha so that's yayness for me ^^

Bought Dashboard Confessional's "Dusk and Summer", pretty cool and the best thing it's at like $14.90? Woot and I bought Nickelback's "All the right reasons" too. Dashboard Confessional roxxers, the new album's uber hot and nice... doesn't matter if some of the song lyrics have sexual innuendos but all the same, they are meaningful and the tunes are very very nice. Money well-spent and I'm sooooooooo proud of myself... haha... oh yeah in any case if you dun know who dashboard confessional is, it's one where Carbarra sang vindicated, Spidey 1 song and swore he was right and swore he knew it all along, haha rock on DB...
Today went for some video production sabbat, quite fun actually as it turns out, get to move around and film ppl and do funny stuff through video techniques haha...

Name 3 schools you went to
SGS
Pei Chun
Hwa Chong

Name 3 things in your purse/wallet
ezlink
batman keychain
library card

Name 3 things you like to wear
t-shirt
jeans
a smile :D

Name 3 things you always do when you are stressed up
snap my fingers
get retarded and talk to myself
let out grunts of fustration and pull my hair 0.O

Name 3 fav songs right now
Nickeback - Far Away
Dashboard Confessional - Don't wait
Yellowcard - only one

Name 3 favourite persons in life
my dad
my mum
jia chen

Name 3 places you go on a daily basis
home
lala land
Hwa Chong

Name 3 things you like to do
snap my fingers alot although it isn't very loud
being lame and talking rubbish
eat i'm a piggie XD

Name 3 person of the opposite sex that you hold hands before
my mum and I can't rmb th rest

Name three favourite fruits
apple mango orange

Name 3 things you are addicted to
painting lame jokes food

Name 3 favourite hobbies
doing productive work thinking/ having weird thoughtspainting

Name 3 career choices
economist sociologist/ psychologistpainter

Name 3 goals in 2006
pwn in eoys pwn in np and getting staff sargepwn in annual msg

Name 3 plans for tomorrow
learn video production file wsbeing revision

Name 3 things that scare you
more work after you thought you completed everythingfatigue, when you realised you can't take it anymore growing up

Name 3 of your essential needs
work to keep my mind activepaint and brushes my com

Name three things you are wearing right now
sleeveless shirt shorts specs

Name 3 unforgettable events still in your mind
12slc!! <33 meeting her kayaking in the storm

Name 3 of your fav bands or musical artistes
Nickelback Dashboard confessionalYellowcard

Name 3 things essential in relationship
true love commitment understanding

Name 3 things you want to do before you leave this world
eat see her againpaint

Name 3 wines
I dun drink and I definitely dun whine

Random questions
lied to the person you love most? Never.

bluff a person you dont like/love him when you does? think so

YES or NO questions

Been trap in lift? metaphyscially when the lift took a long time to reach the floor I wanted

Violated the law? eh... does smuggling chewing gum count?

Been in jail? duh no and I will never want to

Trapped in a room with only a opposite sex around? nope.

Love someone with your whole heart? yea, totally and unconditionally

tadah...

Shall go slp... body still aching from kayaking and I look like a charcoal more than ever now... -.-

brushofmight

a reason to believe... still waiting and hoping

and it's over... for now...

2006-08-18T22:26:00.000+08:00

Oh wow, finally, the moment I've been waiting for... now now now... let me say this out loud... hmm... OMG OMG OMG!!! the tests are OVER!!! okay, wow, I somehow survived this term... though I thought I will not make it but i guess I did it... but the eoys are here in 6 weeks time and that really worries me... ahh.... what am I gonna do? ah heck nvm.. shall relax abit first before beginning my revision for the eoys. I can do it, oh yes I can and I shall be optimistic. Next week sabbat, in some weird video production course that my chi teacher forced me to join since I'm going to China at the end of the year, implying that I'll have to do a video of of immersion programme for our sch. Sheesh, I don't like the idea of this... where's the logic of sabbats if our teachers force us to go for a particular course we are not truly interested in. Ah well, what can I really do? Might as well learn something from the course. Bah, actually wanted to join MUN sabbat but am now stuck in video production. Well at least on the bright side I get to learn something about video production and what we really film affects the perception of others on the particular subject matter we are filming on. Thus, i think objectivity is the key to provide a wholistic and informative account on the subject matter and facts must not be distorted in anyway for with modern techonology, we are able to maipulation data we record like for example, cutting, pasting, as well as merging video images and linking two separate subject matters together and all these video techniques can influence a person's view on the issue at hand.

lol, had 2-star kayaking today, very tiring. and the strange thing is we had a repeat of last year's incident of kayaking in the choppy sea. it was so cool, kayaking in the high seas and furthermore in the storm. I rmbed last year I had the time of my life kayaking in the storm... and it was utter crazy, and I thought I was going to drown in the sea and fie a horrible death >< and strangely today we kayaked in the storm too. so cool can... gliding the kayak above the water. And I learnt something today: speed is nth without control. C;mon, we are like using cyclones and trms which are super unstable. Like for example the cyclones that we use, they literary are cyclones: spinning 360 degrees with a slight nudge of the paddle... and when I say they spin, they really spin like crazy and totally out of control. Thus, sure you can go fast with a cyclone in the sea with ferocious paddling but it wouldn't do without proper control of the kayak with the right strokes applied for the right situation as your navigation will be off. so fun, bobbing up and down in the choppy waters but this time, I wasn't afraid to die, hehe... and I drank like a litre of saltwater today? It taste horribly horrid. Eskimo bow rescue, high support, low support recovery, bow rudder, low-brace turn: trust me, these skills are useful, cause they prevent yr kayakfrom capsizing. And staying underwater in capsized position is so fun, hugging the hull and tapping it 3 times. And the eskimo bow that the instructor did was awesome: imagine from upright position, turning 180 degrees with the kayak into a capsized position and just when you thought he needs to be rescued, he flips back up again 180 degrees to where he was previously. In other words, he went 360 degrees in clockwise direction from surface level to underwater and backup again. we were like 0.O !? Amazing hip power and momentum. haha that means I need to do more "hip hop" to train my hips, boy my hips really dun lie, ahahaha ( self-tickling) -.- eek, can't get my cert... missed the first lesson, so must go for some make-up session -.- heyhey but I survived the expedition okay, so i can be considered a 2-star kayaker okay...

ah well, I may, and I emphasize the word "may", get 1.8 for msg this term, which I dun think i will. I think I'll get like 2.1 or 2.2.... I dunno... shall prepare for the worse though, haha...

eoys are coming, so jia you everyone, we can do it! oh yes we can

brushofmight

be strong believe

ndp

2006-08-10T19:39:00.000+08:00

wow... 3 to 4 mths of ndp training, ended just like that in one single nite of celebrations? somehow I can't face reality. the bonds we've forge, the songs we sang, the jokes we share, and of course our beloved cheer, the xi shua shua cheer... so darn cute... and the nite was really memorable and sad, really. everyone was like hugging one another one? patting one another on the back and thanking each other for giving and sharing with them this experience, this memory of ndp '06 that will be part of history soon. All that's left are only pictures and memories and it's saddens me. Most of the girls cried, the guys didn't: well that was kind of expected... girls seem to get emotionally-charged real fast, and the tears are pretty much contagious. someone starts crying and the rest will follow. instantaneous chain reaction. oh well... I am really gonna miss ndp '06 alot, and will always rmb you peeps: chee keong, cheryl, kuang kai, alex, fahmie, wen xian and of course wei ju. all of us were so lame... crapping here, there and everywhere! ah heck, gonna have withdrawal symptoms for the next few days, and feeling like something has been taken away from me...

Well at least there's no more training and I can get to slack... no KFC and Pizza hut, oh boy, I think eating chicken every week's gonna kill me, that thick oily skin of a chicken really puts me off and seeing oil dripping from every part of the chicken really makes me puke. *cluck cluck* eww... disgusting man. And I think Maumu's a pretty okay teacher after all. I mean if not for him offering me this chance, I wouldn't be able to participate in NDP and eat all these chicken? lol I think I ate like 20 pieces of chicken in total but anyway, Maumu's pretty much okay except I think he should be more feeling a little bit, yeah? And realise he grew a little, now am able to see his hair at my eye level when I standing straight? eh wait, or is it that I'm shrinking? *shrugs... must be the chickens I ate, stunted my growth, think I'll become Chicken Little soon... >< and I seem to babble more often like a chicken... blah....

SLC still rox though haha... "forever and ever babe". Lol watched click on tues. Damn funny... especially the poor toy duck who got s*****d repeatedly by adam sandler's doggies... and I think they overdid that part... till it's not really funny anymore but more of stupid. But on the whole it was extremely hilarious, and I seriously can't stand Donna's fren whom I forgot her name. So bimbotic and fake... it's like "yuck, so gross"? no wonder nobody likes her, and I realise there's alot of such girls in reality, *shudders, can't stand it. Moral of the story: life's not a movie where you can fast forward or go back in time and that's reality. It's much more appropriate to go through tough times and adversities and grow from them rather then to skip everything to get to your goals. Family and friends come first, then work. Hmm... maybe I shld stop working and spend more time with my friends and family yeah? treasure thyself and thy life... shoo off hw, you shldn't exist... stop dominating my life...

went for class gathering and I realised eehui, xiner, bx all watched the same movie before the gathering at the same place: orchard?. lol, it totally shocked me... pretty unbelievable and what a coincidence... realised that people changed alot and everything's not the same at all... haha but the same feeling is still there, the 6a funky feeling. I think we can tok rubbish all night and still won't be able to finish crapping... haha, love you guys always. 6a, we rock and you don't, go stone xD haha... see you guys on teachers' day... wonder how's mrs loo though, and zhou lao shi... hope they're alright... and I guess it's been a long time since I last saw them face-to-face... really looking forward to teachers' day. probably will get something for them... hehe...

I realised I haven't been painting alot, much due to ndp... and my brushstrokes seem rusty and out of touch. Never mind, shall get it back sooner or later... still on watercolour, and I seriously need to practise my wet-on-wet technique >< shall change my blogskin once I finish with my painting... argh... hw and tests always get into my way... sch interest versus self-interest... was thinking where would I go after I complete my course? Continue on to NAFA? sounds like a great idea with mr lim as my mentor; he's uber gd and patient and he's pretty hilarious. But do I have the time? esp. when my parents have high hopes on me to go to overseas university? parental expectations increases the pressure, and they say that painting won't earn me a living. heck, I love to paint and will always love to paint... eek, I wanna learn oil painting soon, be the next next van gogh or da vinci, hehe. Hey, don't you laugh at me okay... I 'll be there someday, trust me. and I wonder what shld I paint after learning oil? replicate "the last supper"? "starry starry nite"? "mona lisa"? hmm... I think I shld paint something of my own... shall create a new style of painting hehe... welcome to the impressionist family... ^^

Darn... time to study for IHC le... stupid test tmr... bye.... peace out

brushofmight

just when you thought it's over...

2006-08-06T21:59:00.000+08:00

oh wow, finally, I've managed to complete my humanities research paper and the portfolio. OH YEAHHHHHH..... (*the banana emoticon where a dancing banana goes chilli, pepper blah blah - how I wish we can insert emoticons in our posts >< Blogger are you reading this? Increase in interactivity will certainly be a niche in yr blogging concept appeal, seriously. Blogging needs some revolutionary change/overhaul) Anyways, my research paper's like 40 pages long including the appendix? And it's 7851 words to be exact... -.- definitely way over the word limit of 5000, but wth... I dun care abt marks deduction because of going over the word limit; it's my paper, I did it my way and since it's long overdue, I dun care abt the word count... just want to get it over and done with and concentrate on other stuff....

However, just when I thought I can relax, I realised that they are many more stuff to do... and pw's finals is coming >,< think my team's going to die anyways... so hopeless. More hw and assignments, wow... the never-ending cycle of work to be completed. Well at least I got over my darkest period... (emo emo emo and that breakdown) Can't believe I actually cried... and I was gload that I picked myself up and get going again... there is hope after all as I think my efforts are starting to pay off... or at least I want to believe... I guess I think too much after all...

Left with 4 tests: core, elective, math and physics. And how time flies... the term's going to end real soon... jiayou everyone out there!... we'll emerge victorious from this uber long battle...

And next week's national day week, which means my ndp trainings gonna be over... yayness... but pretty sad to leave from the contingent after being together and training together for abt 2 mths... 9th Aug will be the day... that this fellowship will end... and all that's left will be just memories and fragments of the past... of NDP 2006 NPCC contingent... Somehow fireworks will light up the nightsky the brightest on that day, for all of us... and it's not the end, but the celebrations of a new beginning, a new experience... lol, thinking abt our "xi shua shua" cheer really makes me laugh...lolz I'm going high again. yesterday was the last time we really trained together before the actual day, and even though I missed the first session of my kayaking 2-star, I think I did not regret going for training, even though the ironic part is i dun have a choice (the maumu factor ><)

happy to meet, sad to part, NDP '06 will forever be in my heart... oh my gosh going emo emo emo...

And national week means more time to mug math and ih... gogogo... woohoo gonna be part of the flag party for sch ndp... meaning no heavy drills, Oh yeah.... (dancing banana again)... sheesh how come I'm so high today? *shrugs... anyone goin for our national day carnival on 8th?

I've to realised some self-entertaining techniques that I usually use when I'm bored:

1) stare into blank space and start thinking what to eat for the next meal ( a great example of living to eat)

2) doing the "gunman chasing bunny" handsigns... to and fro. I know it's lame, but nobody dies in this "game" as it carries on and on... improves fingers flexibility XD

3) count sheep. yep, way to go, plus it's proven to induce sleep ^^

4) playing scissors paper and stone with hands against each other. you will always know which side is the winner...

5) start shaking head and moving upper body up and down, seated, like I'm on ecstasy... aha... self-hyping... my fav... some music might help too XP

6) making random techno beats, or some other weird never-heard-before sounds. hey this improves creativity

that's all I think, and of course other lame stuff such as typing this out...
Note: People might think you're crazy and diagnose with some mental illnes... but then again, it's for self-entertainment purposes. who can blame you since life is that boring such that you have to resort to such methods to keep occupied?

Oh yesh, and another lame thing cross my mind: 4 million frowns exercise by some guy that intent to poke fun at the government's campaign... ironically, it's bringing smiles to people's faces... so indirectly, the government's method is working, in the most unlikely and unthinkable way.... lolz... hahaplox...

Thought of a "theory" when I was on my way home yesterday, that all humans are idea-generators and ideas and thoughts are random particles floating around in the air... waiting for us to absorb them at the right place and at the right time... that is determined by the person's senses and we go "Eureka!". A person's creativity is determined on his/her brain and how effective is the person able to exercise and churn out ideas based on what he/she sees... and the ability to absorb these random particles in the air... that's why some are more creative than others based on a certain set of criteria which has yet to be determined by psychologists. Nonetheless, every single one of us is creative; it's just how more creative are you as compared to others. And these thoughts/ideas are like knowledge to you from your senses i.e. basically what you see, hear and feel etc. With the mind and te heart as one, it becomes information that is vital and that you will be able clearer with such knowledge. We all know knowledge can never be taken away from a person as it is something intangible, but in the new century, we see an upsurge of products of knowledge, like business concepts etc, practically anything. The simplest block of anything of Man's creation is actually knowledge itself... random knowledge being piece together as a whole to form an "idea/concept", where "ideas/concepts" form products, otherwise know as intellectual property, like my research paper where there is consolidation of ideas and it goes through this entire process. In the new century, it is possible to sell the products of knowledge, may it be the simpler of ideas and concepts, or as a product, a collective whole in itself. People are more willing to buy the simpler forms of the products of knowledge like ideas and concepts rather than the products of the concepts... for there is more flexibility and more room for mix n match to create something else using a person's creativity and judging by his level of creativeness. The entire notion is like glucose --> sucrose --> starch/cellulose , where knowledge is a monsaccharide, ideas/concepts are disaccharides, and the products of ideas and concepts (Man's inventions and creation) as a polysaccharide. With the advancement of technology and communications, people are more able to share ideas and concepts, as well as knowledge through teaching and education. We see more and more of protection of intellectual property rights because in this era, we see Man putting a price tag on knowledge and it is something measurable as well as of value where it can translate into something profitable. That is why most countries of the world are moving towards more knowledge-based economies... for now in the world, knowledge is money... $$$

*yawnz... tired le... shall continue the second part of this small theory some other time, on how knowledge, ideas is related to trends, as well as acceptors and donators...

tata.... off to lala land....

brushofmight

I'm still waiting... for you...

too tired to carry on

2006-07-31T21:00:00.000+08:00

I can't take this anymore... any longer... everytime I try to fly, I fall without my wings...

I'm so confused, so tired and exhausted, that I don't know what to do. I've been pushing myself to work harder but sometimes, things don't always happen the way I wanted and that bogs me down. I've tried, but nothing comes out of it.

My mind's in such a whirl that I just broke down in front of my com and cried. Yes, I cried.

With so many things to do and so little time, I am lost. I knew a breakdown was imminent. This was the first time I cried because of work, which is ridiculous yet I have to do so many stuff to complete that I didn't know how to begin.

I'm sick and tired of this. Trying to push myself harder but this is what i get. When will this ever end?

the world suddenly seem so cold...

brushofmight

and I don't wanna wake up...
and I'm still believing...

gold haul

2006-07-22T15:06:00.000+08:00

hihi... it's been abt a week since I last blogged...

Grggh.... very flustered and angry with blogger... i typed a very long entry abt TnF and the entire middle portion of it simple "disappeared" after I clicked "publish post"... bleargh... this is irritating and now I have to type all over again... really puts me off. Lesson: save your post before publishing, as there is a high chance of losing information. Now I have to rmb what I typed and repost again, whihc is like a complete waste of time? Sheesh, life's never easy to begin with... oh well, what has happened cannot be undone... so i'll just continue...

TnF: simply fabulous. The atmosphere, the cheers and the intense competition. It's not surprising that TnF is an event that I'll always look forward too, not because it's more likely than not that HC gets double champs, again... but it's really more about the atmosphere and witnessing records being broken. There're no losers at TnF finals... all athletes are winners in their very own right, because they have done themselves and their schs proud... this is when we see true sportsmanship, where athletes shook hands congratulate one another after every race...

Stayed overnight in sch the night before the TnF finals, to prepare for banner hanging together with other excos and HSC councillors. It was really fun... staying through the night together and a huge bulk of our conversations were actually rubbish and lame stuff. Then we met with a situation: we've just been notified that we aren't suppose to use the fences of cck stadium to hang our banners. Blah, the officials were seriously getting on our nerves but nvm... we decided to comply and then started building tripods with spars and hemps through the night so that we can hang our banners without the reliance of the fence. ^^ was pleased that I was able to apply my np campcraft skills and put them into really good use, and I realised the usefulness of 1gyn lashings through creating tripods. With 3 np and 2 scouts, it wasn't really much of a problem. Hehe, take that officials, nth's gonna stop us...

5.30am: cck stadium. The stadium's pretty cool in the wee hours of the morning... (that applies to the weather too ^_^) and it's even cooler hanging up banners in the dark. There was a need to make HC's presence felt all around the stadium. By 10 we already got all our banners up when other schs are still putting up theirs... namely VS and SNG sry peeps, first-come-first-serve basis... We actually wanted to hang HC logos at the top and covering the "the " and "warriors" so that it will seem to imply "Home of HC" but I guess that was too much and in the end didn't do that, just hung up banners right across the field. However, the weather changed just as we were about to finish up tying the super-big HC logo and the strongs winds blew our big banner against the structure of the semi-d house, tearing some parts of our banner. Then we realised we forgot to make holes in the banner -.- and our banner was already flying like a huge kite with such strong winds...And worst of all, it started pouring really heavily, and thereafter, our banners one by one collapsed due to the strong winds. But of course we managed to prevail through such times of adversity ( eee... how come this sounds so cliche?). Somehow, it gives me great satisfaction to do council work, even it means waking up so early and staying over in sch and not eating for 16 hours straight. And it is this feeling of overcoming the odds, like the bad weather, and salvaging the situation that really warms my heart... I think this is what I truly like about council, serving the sch through council work and I'll never regret my choice of joining the council in sec one before as in the end, everything's seem so worthwhile... so satisfying, and that I truly found I place where I belong... I guess next year when it's time to go to college... I'll cry my heart out for the idea of parting with the memories forged so greatly in the high sch is just so unbearable for me... 12slc, council, np, 2N - the class of lamers, 4M, all ispark teachers, bsp peeps, and all others I met along the way who make my life so memorable... some of them even change my life forever... and by the time I get there, I would have certainy realised how my life is just like an emo roller coaster ride, ups and downs, spins and rushes, fast and furious, slow and steady... and when I look back I'll would like to go: " wow! it's my life"

haha... and VS and SNG were quite hilarious when they hang their banners. Most of the VS guys were more likely than not from np and they went around the stdaium, climbing here and there to find space to hang 8 of their banners zomg, totally beat us in the no. of banners, and also in the no. of times they violate the rules... and we still got the last laugh in the end when the strings of their big banner beside ours snapped because of the friction with our banner ropes, and serve them right for blatantly laughing at us when the structural design parts of the semi-d torn some parts of our banner because of the strong winds. And SNG was even more amusing. They actually placed "S", "N" and "G" placards in the middle of our array of banners and the strong winds just blew them of the ground. lol and we decide to be nice by helping them fix their placards and stuck them into the ground properly before such incidences happen again. We were thinking: why on Earth are we helping them to put their placards properly when they belong to them? There's no logic in it... and I honestly thought we weren't And at the end of the meet when schs cram the side gate to rush in with their flags, SNG girls actually told us off and demanded us to queue behind them when JC and I were just trying to make our way across to join the rest of our councillors? We weren't even trying to jump the queue. Money makes the world go round but we have to be more specific so I contend that "sense" makes the world go round, not "dollars". Anyway, what has happened cannot be undone, thus the matter shall rest... ^^ and I've come to realise the importance of diplomacy and sensitivity, where there must be a high-level of intelligence and wit in order to protect one's own interest efficiently...

And after the cheers and the competition, we emerged triple champs, and everything that we have done seems so worthwhile and justified. Victory is sweet, sweeter than the coke i'm drinking now... I maybe exhausted, overwhelmed with fatigue, and voiceless because of the cheers, but I'm not complaining, not one bit, cause we are triple champs and the sense of satisfaction at the end of the day overrides everything...

Lol, and the following we got a half-day off (thank god, if not I would have been dead with the amount of work left undone because of TnF finals but then again, I'm not complaining :0) but the most thrilling thing was that we got 10 golds in one day: TnF 3 golds ( A, B, C boys) , Judo 3 golds ( A, B, C boys), Air Rifle 2 golds ( A boys and girls) and Gymnastics 2 golds ( B and C boys) Wow, that's just incredible...

HRP reached 6K words and I've got 2 more chapters and a conclusion to go? yikes, ms sim says I've got to do a retrenchment exercise ><

Oh gosh, when will the Middle East conflict ever end? Again, innocent lives are lost and people on both sides are wounded by the air-strikes. Destruction and chaos are rampant across Middle East as tensions run high, and a full-blown war is immnent but in war there are no winners, just losers... nobody ever wins a war. Hope that militia faction leaders of Hizbollah as well as Israeli leaders will rethink about the consequences of their decisions and I realised that the innocent are always the one facing the brunt of the conflict even though the issue does not directly concern them. Sigh.. my heart hurts when I look at the victims of such a conflict... for just over 2 Israeli soldiers held as captives, but of course there is more at stake. I mean if I were the Israeli soldier held captive, I would have put a bullet right into my head, ending my life because it is certainly heartbreaking to see so many people die just because your country wants to get you out... makes no sense at all. I would have killed myself right away if I were the soldier. I certainly would, to sacrifice for the greater good. It is simply not worth it, to go through all these to save a soldiers' life. The innocent lives of others that die in the battles are just as precious as his, maybe even more...

That is why I contend that peace will never exist in the world; it's a matter on how we resolve conflicts before it spins out of control, just like what happened in the Middle East. Every Man is different and each of our interests are different too, thus conflicts will always rise between countries when there is a clash of interests and countries' security are threatened. That's why sensitivity and diplomacy is important... hope the war will end... in peace...

gtg mug, shall continue another time... over and out...

brushofmight

"Let there be peace on Earth, and Let it begin with Me."

And I'm still right here waiting for you, for you I will...

that's reality

2006-07-16T22:05:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh, i am so screwed... and I can't believe that I'm in such a mess. Lots of stuff incomplete >< wonder how am I gonna survive... And it's just the beginning of Wk 4...

Let's see: Physics presentation not done, English essay not done, Chinese WS not done, Math retest on Tues, Chinese test on Tues and worse of all, Humanities Research Paper not completed.... I still have like 2 Chapters and a Conclusion to go? Wow, I believe I'll have lots of fun analysing Singapore's National songs and compare their themes, lyrics and genre before proving that there is a change in Singapore's political sphere and ideological hegemony and show the trend. Argh, screw it, if not for NDP i would have completed it and get on with other important stuff... sheesh, dun know whether I'm able to get an extension... bleh... wonder why am I still blogging away when I'm suppose to rush all this out tonite...

I really pity those p5s at the NE show yesterday. I mean like they will have to face the same shitload of stuff i'm facing now in 4 years time, maybe even worse. Hey kids, enjoy your life now before you dun even know what's the meaning of life 4 years later. Sigh*... what great education we're getting...

Lots of stuff to do... gotta go now.... before it's too late... I shall pull through all this crap... oh yes I will

brushofmight

And I'll wait for you, for you I will

Even the best fall down sometimes

2006-07-14T19:57:00.000+08:00

I'm tired and I really mean it.... not just physically, but mentally....

I somehow flunked my math, even though I understand all the concepts and I spent two days studying 3 hours each, just for this test. Do I deserve this sort of marks? No I dun and I dun believe it... Sometimes I just wonder whether I've spent enough time studying or practising my math and whether I should push myself harder than ever, even though I'm already pushing myself so hard now? And I'm overloaded, way overloaded with commitments, trying to get everything right... And I ask myself again: is this what I truly deserved? I do not believe that I can't do well for my tests, and I'm not happy and I dun believe that I can't trouce Maumu's retard math test. I dun and I never will... I'm gonna mug till I drop i tell you, till I trouce his re-test real flat. Yeah, and I really mean it, steamrolled till it's flat, till I make a fool out of Maumu's math test and make it look so pathetic that it cannot take a single mark away from me... yes and I am just going to do right that, cause now it isn't the marks at stake; it's about pride, self-satisfaction and proving my true worth, that I dun, I repeat, I DUN deserve such marks... and this will apply for tests and exams for the rest of the year. Thinking about the bundles of joy I'll get when i trash every single one of his math test motivates me, cause it gives me great pleasure to go up to him and flash the "loser" sign and show how his tests are so easy, like peanuts to me... yeah that will be my "aftermath" and I'll make sure I'll reach there... Oh yes I will, it's pay back time and I shall rise again from the depths...

Don't Quit!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As everyone of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,Y
ou may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worse, that...

You Must Not Quit.

Yes, I'll not and I WILL defy all odds....

ahahaha, typing this rejuvenates me cause it motivates me a lot...

tata, I feel better... back to mugging...

be strong believe....

brushofmight

You're beautiful... it's true...

Strengthquest

2006-07-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

Hehe... Strengthquest is so cool!...
And my top five Strengths are....

1) Restorative
2) Focus
3) Input
4) Includer
5) Intellection

o.O... I surprise even myself.... didn't even I know I had such strengths... Shall post up the descriptions of each strength soon... right now i'm dead tired... math test tmr >< so many things to study and revise... think I'll die.... math sux, big time.....

be strong believe

brushofmight

You're beautiful... it's true...

Love: where art thou?

2006-07-06T18:37:00.000+08:00

Yeps, and i'm right here blogging away, dun really know what to type, and i can't believe i'm blogging away in school using the library's computers -.-

Somehow it feels different to be blogging in school. I somehow used to the incredible no. of post-its on my home comp screen reminding me about the amount of work needed to be done and the screen which i am starring at is a little foggy though, well what can you expect? The ones at the lab are so much better., but at least i can find a space in school to blog in this little space, voicing my thoughts and feelings. Ah well i'm suppose to do something about "THBT performance enhancing drugs should be allowed in the sports.", but apparently I'm here blogging away... lalala.... Articles about doping in the sports world, especially in athletics, are abundant. Ah well, shall do that tonite ><

Well, there was independence day on the 4th of July, the celebration of Freedom and Human Rights. However, it seems to me that in this world there is still a lack of love and peace. Hmmm... reminds me of BEP's "Where is the love?". Till this very day and age in the history of Mankind, sadly, there are still civil wars raging in some countries, racial discrimination is still rampant in many countries, even for "bdae Uncle" Sam and child, women and drug abuse is still a constant menace in today's society. Elsewhere in places of tibet, mongolia, north korea, africa and many other places, the vicious cycle of poverty continues and corruption of government officials has gone beyond control at the expanse of these impoverished and innocent people living in rural areas of bad living conditions. Children going hungry, widespread famine and diseases slowly taking these innocent lives away. Innocent people being embroiled in fights and wars of hatred yet the conflict at hand never ever were their fault but somehow got pulled into such a situation that endangers their lives. This thus creates a vicious cyle of hatred too. The question I would seriously like to ask is: what WRONG have they committed to deserve such a life of chaos, unrest, hardship and poverty like this? What have they done such that they are meant to be living this way? Are we as fellow human beinga doing enough to change their lives for the better? Everyday there are people dying out their on the streets, for various reasons that they simply are not responsible for. Human rights are violated and people still live in constant fear in some parts of the world, where Freedom is not a reality, but just a distant dream, never to happen and of wishful thinking. So much for the love of freedom, peace and humanity. I will definitely at sometime of my life be a good samanitarian and do my part to bring love to the world for peace and humanity. Sounds like some Miss Universe Pageant punchline when asked what they wished for? Nah, the stupid and yet amusing thing is that some of these contestants seem to put up a false front and only be committed to social work when they at least win something at the competition. What if there's no competition? Would they still say world peace when asked? Meaning that they said that only because of the competition to please the judges? How dumb. C'mon, we all can see right through. Action speaks louder than words and empty promises ^^ thus I think such competitions are useless for in fact, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...

And you're beautiful, it's true...

brushofmight

And reality sinks in...

2006-06-24T22:28:00.000+08:00

Boy am I glad that my nightmarish hols are over and here i am staring at this computer screen wasting time by thinking of what to tye while that is a reasonably huge stack of worksheets and other stuff to be done.

Oh boy, am I suppose to be a mama's boy and go " Mummy! It's over!" or just start glonking and try to finish that pile of *%^^*#$@. ( <-- That was random and wow, I somehow managed to create ^^ out of something random -.- ) Okay enough, I'll just try to complete my hw asap, and the feeling of not knowing what am I heading for if i dun complete my hw really freaks me out, so yeah, that somehow became my motivation. I mean like, what sort of hols are these? I' always not at home every single day of my hols and everytme I'm back home it's like 10 or 11? Just too tired to do some work. Heck, I cannot let history repeat itself, even though I'm taking hist for the elective next semester. "Workers of the World! Lend my your strength!" Yeps, that's what I'll say. 1.0, here i go!....

ATC was okay okay... and definitely fades in comparison with 12slc and bsp camp... which is something that I am glad with as I'll just get emo again and start missing lots of people. The atmosphere was just... well... you know, just . yeah just so very empty like that space. Normally in bsp camp or slc, I never get tired of jumping around like a mad guy who just lost control over himself... but somehow during the campfire or the sing-along sessions, i burn my batteries way out, so much so that i almost fell asleep during PT, which was pretty weird and I still have no eye-dear how on earth that campfire's atmosphere sux to the core, so much so that I can't maintain my jumpiness.... yeps.... I somehow need others to be hyper and jumpy like me to maintain my own jumpiness, if not it spoils all the fun... bleargh...

And somehow the CIs aren't nice. AT ALL. wait, why expect them to be nice in the first place? I'll never be like them if i become one. Hwa Chong NPCC attitude roxxers, with a great sense of "volunteerism" and knowledge to pitch tents, well many thanks to the pressure the nynp peeps are giving us... And the CIs told us straight in the face that our attitude sux? Makes no "cents", maybe "dollars"?

Ahs well, bowling comp finals was pretty okay and we had CONGLO OUTING! OMG OMG OMG....*starts getting hyper*, never mind it was only 11 peeps in total, but hey, it was still a congol 2 outing... and we celebrated shirin's and elynn's bdae... yayness... and guess where? Yoshinoya!!! (alfred: yoshinoya... for life's most enchanting times... the perfect place to celebrate your bdae...) And somehow Shao fei and me managed to get a cake from "secret recipe" without shirin knowing the exact reason even though she was with us and it was just uber lameness.... Well, at least we did something that most peeps can't, which is to really walk down orchard rd aimlessly. And I really mean aimlessly... XD

NDP's gonna rock this year. Trust me. And i'm still figuring out how on earth you do "Fue De Joie"? I mean I dun see "fire" and I dun see "Joy" when the GOH did it... *starts stoning....

Okay enough said, I shall start glonking before I start getting distraced by the match "Germany versus Sweden". I bet Germany will win because of the amount of germs that gets the Swedes infected really fast but hey, who knows the Germans get tricked by the sweetness of the Swedes' sweets and like little kiddies, they get distracted by the sweets...

Oh gosh, that was just some random crap. Just ignore. I always have a tendency to do that.

brushomight
And the glonking begins....

ATC - 19th to 21st

2006-06-18T22:30:00.000+08:00

Wow, time really flies....

ATC'06 is here omg omg omg...
Well at least we are more prepared this time, and won't go there looking like fools
Something funny happened during ndp training last sat. Here's a conversation between a WCI and me:

WCI: "The Hwa Chong guy, i/c for group 3, how many cadets are there in the group?"
Me: "21 mam!"
WCI: "21 mams arh?"
Me:" No mam, 21 cadets in the group mam!"
WCI (starts counting) : "You sure?"
Me: "Yes mam!"
Me - realised there's 22 caused I forgot to include myself"
Me: "Mam, I counted wrongly. Suppose to be 22 mam! I forgot to count myself"
WCI:"You can't count properly arh? Who's your math teacher?"
Me: "My OC Unit mam!"

Lawl, wasted a lot of time. And she's so irritating and getting on my nerves. At least now she knows that my OC Unit is my math teacher ^^ so if she complains to my OC Unit that i cannot count and that my math teacher didn't teach me properly, she would be indirectly insulting him. So ironic and funny....

Hope ATC's okay. My hols are packed with camps. When will this EVER end. And I just realised I've got hw to do... >< bleargh... running out of time...

brushofmight

(campfire's burning bright... campfire's burning bright!)

the dreaded campweek

2006-06-12T06:00:00.000+08:00

oh crap, it's here.

12th to 14th - "tekan" camp. Must pull through and become and NCO! yayness! XD'
15th to 17th - ICTC: not so bad, but pretty bad for the sec 2 councillors and sec 1 CITs. They are certainly in for something.... ^^

Sore throat, running nose, feeling pretty bad... dun feel like doing anything...
Hope that I dun fall sick during the camps... >< yikes....

brushofmight

(Yayness! The Oranje has won! S & B can never beat Robben & Co. And I just realised how similar their flags were... the red, the blue and the white...)

Reliving the Dream 2

2006-06-11T19:59:00.000+08:00

Lol, I'm on a blogging spree....

Yesterday nite: fac gathering to celebrating Karen's bdae at one of her corporate member's house. It was seriously Saturday Night Fever and I couldn't express the feelings I truly felt when most of the facs were there, toking and laughing away. woots. It felt like SLC had never ended before and everyone was so merry, happily eating and barbequing, and of course playing and toking crap. Wasn't able to join them in the late morning to buy the cake for karen; had stupid NDP training. Oh yeah, toking abt NDP really pisses me off. I had to wear that blue uniform 4 times in one week. First it's yesterday. Then my training camp on 12th, 13th and 14th. And then my assesment on the 16th. And then the next NDP training the next day on the 17th. I SO love NPCC. How am I suppose to wash and prepare my uniform? And half my hols is taken-up by NPCC activities. Okay, enough of such saddening stuff, get back on track.

And so we talked all night long and somehow I'm infatuated with the BIG doggy that they bought for karen. It's uber huge, seriously. But of course not bigger than doug of course... hahaz... We ate stingray, which is such a "ray" of hope, and hotdog, which proved that doug is somehow hot... hahaz... And then after all these corny stuff I made, wenny took a corn, came up to me and said, "Hi, corny! Eat some corn!". -.- argh, how corny can that be? Okay so now I'm bugs bunny (nickname gave by my corp for being so jumpy) and and corny. Eh wait, when did Bugs Bunny EVER ate corn? I thought he nimbles his carrot and goes " What's up Doc?" Aiyah, nvm....

Glad to see most facs there: davin, chuanita, nicole, wei leong, shi hua, karen (bdae girl), shu han, jia cong, weiling, doug, matt, zhen yang, li xiang, alfred, elynn, jia yun, terence, zi yang, wei si, wen yi and of course OT members like guan yu, qi han, jia jun, jian rui, jingbo.... wow, what a wonderful "farmily"!.... hahaz.... Oh boy, it's great to be back together again... XD then we went park and then j8, randomly walking about and aimlessly too.... until some peeps decided to watch the boring englang vs. paraguay match and then everyone went home... lols, england won though an own goal... that's so crap....

Today morning was quite fun for me. Went for art and as I started my watercolour painting, I suddenly realised how long I have not held a brush, since the day I completed my four paintings last year. And it feels awesome to be back, painting at will again. Somehow, I felt terrific when I paint, where the piece of white paper is my toy and that I have the complete liberty and freedom to create something out of nothing. Never felt this way for such a long time already. And then I started to paint like I always used to, and I surprised myself. I could still paint pretty well, in spite of the change in the type of paint and the long time gap. It's a little rusty, but at least I created something appealing. I painted the "soft" way, and created scenery of the sky and nature.... And I just sat there, oblivious to my surroudings and started painting, for three straight hours. Managed to complete half a painting and will continue to paint better.... I found myself again through the painting, and recovered my "lost" self. At last, I'm no longer lost...I'm found and free again!

brushofmight's back! I'm back! Woohoo!.........
Never felt so alive!

brushofmight

(Will upload my watercolour painting when I'm done XD)

Reliving the Dream

2006-06-11T17:36:00.000+08:00

- Was it all just a dream? Or does it just seemed like a dream?

Was back at hwachong for the FIRST time since slc ended on Friday. Conincidentally, I arrived at school exactly 7am when i took a glance at my watch. Then, this weird feeling came from inside me and I dunno why. I had this sudden urgency to chiong to the facs room, as 7am was the SLC facs reporting time on most of the 4 days. I dunno why but my legs starting moving and I think in less than 5 mins, I reached the facs room, as though the facs briefing had started with Jang addressing all facs and I was 5 mins late. In my mind, i rmbed how we the facs were seated in this oval fashion on chairs and reading the duty list that Jang gave out every day. Then reality hit me and I realised that the room was empty and cold just like my heart after SLC. I peeped through the window and the white empty board was in place of the colourful "Facs Haven" board we had. The room, in short, was dead.

At that point of time, I dun know what was I really thinking but the thing is I was determine to relive that dream I had again, playing the memories that I as a fac had during SLC at the actual place itself. I left the fac room and somehow my eyes met the concourse. Yeps, that the concourse, the place where the noise is during SLC lunch, other than our hungry stomachs of course. It was a place for perfect networking and interaction with participants and facs and where the SLC spirit is truly alive, with the food as the uniting factor and it was always full of noise and activity. Just perfect for corporation bonding too. I missed that place. ><>< bleargh so I decided I shall do the FNB fac item outside the classroom. After some "self-highing" following my success in doing the FNB item outside which produced some self-satisfaction in me, something brought me back down to Earth: I realised that I was alone. And the corridor was somehow dead-quiet. Subsequent visits to relive the dream continued and I played those precious memories in my mind. I rmbed how me and sophia played whacko with my corporation members at the second classroom to the right on the second storey of the Tower Block. I rmbed how we were using "Subzero"'s head-office (the classroom beside my corporation head-office) for conglomerate 2's meeting and how we facs passed notes and talked to the participants. I rmbed how slow I was with the typing of the minutes (slower that the typing of this post =X) and I still can't believe I actually volunteered myself to help elynn out. I rmbed the last debrief of the entire SLC, where my beloved corporation, Hoodflins, gathered and said goodbye to one another and reminding one another to keep in contact. I still rmb how I gave out chocolates and sweets , as wel as the certificates, to my participants at the gallery of second floor of the Tower Block : Rachel the short and sweet secretary of the corporation who makes her points short and sweet; Gracia the ever-so-gracious one, always helping Rachel; Diana the feline-lover - meowzzz... ; Atiqah and Minyi, the latecomers without fail for SLC ; Daphne and Jia Qi, the uber quiet ones that fortunately participated actively for the meetings; Constance, the helpful assistant who constantly helped Cheng Aik the CEO out; Min Hye the Da Chang jin lookalike who is SO overaged; Cheng Aik the ever-powerful CEO of the coporation; Sahaj and his sleepiness and cool accent of English; Yi Tian, and his constant flirtations with Min Hye *smirks*; Jonathan and his rashes and pretentious infatuation for Min Hye and last but not least, Kenneth the Magician who seriously look better than David Blaine. And I would like to thank you guys for giving my such a wonderful experience... you peeps rock! Thank for saying "Jasper, you're so cute!" during the grand finale... although I seriously doubt whether I'm cute. And it's great to be called Bugs Bunny by you peeps, although I still cannot explain how come i'm so jumpy during the finale XP Too hyped up I suppose.. lols.....

And of course not to forget sophia, my wonderful co-fac. if not for her, I seriously would have died during SLC. You did such a great job! Thank you so much. Oh gosh, I'm reliving the entire dream and it felt as if someone had turned back the clock. And to add to my fustration, the two tower block classrooms were locked. I went downstairs and saw the OPTS room and of course again, it was locked. This is the place where I seriously salute. I salute the entire OT for giving me this chance to be a fac and salute them for their dedication and commitment to make SLC a success. Thank you OT. After that, I felt like going to the audi, the place where the SLC heart truly beats and I still cannot forget the grand finale, where everyone's all hyped up and "training" around the audi. But of course, like all the rest, it's locked. >< bleargh... And then I had to report to my NCOs... preventing me from being nostalgic and continue to relive the SLC dream... gd thing that I met Jang and we all start talking and rmbering SLC.

I felt like crying but I couldn't seem to cry. I'm an emo person but I just dun really show my emotions through tears. It's all in my heart, and soul.

The SLC flame has dimmed after burning so brightly and magnificently throughout the 4 days of SLC and I t will never go out. I vow that I'll be back the next time it is ever gonna burn so brightly and gloriously, to relive the dream, once again...

I rmb the times... I truly rmb....

brushofmight

12SLC roxxers XD

2006-06-07T22:39:00.000+08:00

Allo peeps, i guess THAT was the event which really blow my mind, so much so that I actually have this urge to really do some updating of my blog.... hmmm..... yeps, so here I am now staring at the screen and typing out this msg. Sorry to my "cousys" and others for not replying and updating you all, guessed I have been pretty lazy in updating my blog >.<><

10) wearing your SLC lanyards 24/7

11) going nuts about 12slc and experience lameness

and finally,

12) reading this msg and going "[S]uper [L]ame [C]an!"

Yeah, so do look out for these symptoms. In "fac", some are pretty obvious.. ^^ So if you need any assistance, pls do call the 12slc-memory hotline at 1900-SLC-ROCK. Calls are charged at 12 cents each.

Yep, my 12 cents worth of thoughts on SLC.

Let us cherish the memories of 12slc together... nothing's gonna bring us apart and remember, once a "fac", always a "fac"... that can never change.
Love you peeps! *starts jumping again

Just got back from BSP camp, made lots of new fwens and met lots of old ones, hehe... but the grand finale really is nothing as compared to 12SLC. And how dare they use "At the Beginning" for their grand finale too. Stop copying the cat! *Meowzzzzzz..... go watch Garfield 2 lar... And the BSP water bombs suxxors. I mean, it's like only 15 MINUTES? And they call us to stop. Smart people. Anyway, KUN LUN roxxors, is the best, pwns the rest, nothing but the best. Memories of the BSP camp is very mind-etching, like the Auntie Yan where she goes "Yan can cook, so can you... for Aunties by Aunties", Elmo and pals (namely COOKIE - *starts LAUGHING* - monster and Big Bird), and of course the indian of Boey and me *smirks* Thanks for all the memories that you all gave me and all your comments on the paper are SO TOUCHING.... SO SWEET.... hope you like our Hwa Chong and Indian dance! Lols, still can't believe we acutally got second highest for the grp performance. Hwa Chong dance owns! OMGosh, with a grp of hot dudes doing the WAVE, Erwin "worming" and dancing to the tune of Dragostea Din Tei, we seriously BRING THE HOUSE DOWN! And I seriously surprised myself XD, never thought I could choreograph a dance, but of course with the help of Boey. *Thank alot man dude, Singapore "Ai-de" (shorty), nah just jk, hahax, SLC still ROX! Actually me and boey made a pact that if we are in the same grp for BSP camp, we will drop the temperature of the ENTIRE grp. yeps yeps. And we seriously chilled our grp members with our lameness... haha.... come to think of it, I just can't stop laughing! ^^ Anways, wish to thank KUN LUN once a gain for all the great memories that we created and we truly share!!!...

Haha, but unfortunately, BSP cannot be compared to SLC! hahaz... sry ny and dunman peeps... and I realised that for both camp/convention, I show lots of lameness in all the lame jokes, haha, all so funny.... esecially the meidacorp joke: say "new ships don't have television" in Chinese man, haha... And erms... Hope "both of them" like my letters... Keep in Contact Peeps! Haha....

SLC and BSP spirit will always stay with me, with the SLC memories being more memorable than BSP camp unfortunately... but I Love every single one of you all, regardless of event and THANK YOU for creating these unforgettable and life-long memories that we share! Let us cherish these memories we created together....

Wishing all of you the best and nothing bu the best in ALL your future endeavours and may our paths cross again, never forgetting one another...

I'LL NEVER, EVER FORGOT YOU ALL!!!!!! WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*self-high, totally hyped up* (hmmm.... somehow, I just adore my crazy and lame attitud)e

*Yawnz, I'm tired le.... gonna mug the wole day tmr man.... woot! Hope these two events can push me to strive for better results! Jia youz brush! *self-motivates

Cheerios,

brushofmight

Joke: "What happens if you say a pun in front of a teacher in class?" Ans: "You'll be PUN-ished"

Declaration: BLOG OFFICIALLY REVAMPED AND UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess WHO'S BACK!?